Can This Woman Be Blamed For Stealing Makeup?

The above mug shot is of a 31-year-old Arkansas woman named Brandy Allen. Police allege that they arrested her while she was in the process of stealing $144 worth of eye shadow. They also claim that after apprehending her, she began spewing profanities and pulling the makeup out of her purse and attempting to damage it so that it would appear she’d already used it.

If her parents indeed named her “Brandy,” this may suggest why this misguided young woman may have been set on a path toward a life of bad decisions and crime.

But the mug shot suggests there are deeper, more systemic problems afoot here. Obviously no one—no parent, no teacher, no friend, no church official, and no one in a position of benign authority—ever taught her how to apply makeup. Her eyebrows look like skid marks, and the ill-advised aqua/maroon color combination makes it appear as if she is a victim of domestic assault.

So if the allegations are true and she indeed attempted to make off with new makeup, can we, as a society, fault her? As it stands, her original makeup scheme is a crime in itself, because anyone who looks at it will undoubtedly be traumatized. I believe that this young woman was merely trying to better herself, and we—as a society—should be grateful for that. If she’s guilty, sentence her to 20 hours of makeup lessons. It’s a win-win for everyone.