“One time I really had a bad feeling about a car and asked my girlfriend to walk faster over the street. She laughed and said I should not worry. The car crashed into the woman next to us.”
“Townsfolk gathered up their closest possessions, weighed themselves down, and jumped into the center of the lake in protest. No attempt to recover their bodies was ever made.”
Don’t expect her to wait until you’re ready to accept her love. Because, by the time you realize that she deserves to have your heart, her love for you isn’t going to exist anymore. It’s going to be directed at someone else — someone that was ready for her.
You talk about all the things you want to do together (get dinner, see a movie, take a trip to the city), but you never make concrete plans to actually do any of those things.
“I’m obsessed with the taste of him. Even when he’s inside me, sometimes I ask him to pull out so he can finish in my mouth.”
“I only orgasm from oral, so… There’s your answer.”
Don’t fault him for not having a full head of hair. Or for being too broke to fly you to Hawaii. Or for failing to reach your six foot tall height requirement. Judge him on the aspects he can control. On how well he treats you. On how happy he makes you feel.
Lose weight. Any guy that’s worth your time won’t care how flat your belly is.
Which one of your boyfriends had the biggest dick?
“A lot of things factor into it. The foreplay. The positions. Penis length and girth. It really depends. Once, it took me three minutes. Once, it took me almost an hour.”