I Suck At Being Single Because I Get Attached Easily

I Suck At Being Single Because I Get Attached Easily

I suck at being single because I get attached easily. I want a commitment right away. I don’t want to play guessing games. I don’t want to play hard to get. I don’t want to play the field. I want to skip passed the courting process and go straight to the relationship.

There have been a million times when I felt like I haven’t had any right to get upset with someone because, technically, we weren’t dating yet. Technically, they didn’t owe me anything. Technically, they did nothing wrong by flirting with someone else, hooking up with someone else, getting into a relationship with someone else.

I end up coming across as clingy, maybe even crazy, because I get jealous before getting into official relationships. I can’t help myself. Once I find someone I’m interested in dating, I want them all to myself. I don’t want to share. I don’t want to wait to date. I’m passionate and impatient — which makes me get attached easily.

It’s hard for me to navigate the dating world because casual relationships are not my strong suit. I can’t kiss someone one day and ignore their texts the next day. I can’t sleep with someone one night and then ghost on them the next night. I can’t let someone into my heart and toss them away just as quickly. 

There aren’t many people in this world who make me feel comfortable and excited and accepted, so when I find someone who does, my heart latches onto them. I don’t want to let them go. I don’t want to miss out on the chance to get to know them better.

I suck at being single because I get attached easily — which means I get my heart broken easily. Developing a new crush on someone is the worst feeling in the world because I’m bound to get hurt by them, even over stupid little things.

I’ll feel my heart drop when they post a picture with someone else or like a photo of someone else or change their relationship status to reveal they’re dating someone else. I’ll get sick to my stomach thinking about them, even though we’ve never even come close to dating.

I always get attached to people long before they get attached to me. Most of the time, they never even end up getting attached to me. I mean nothing to them. I’m only a temporary person they discard after getting bored.

I suck at being single, because even when I’m not technically in a relationship, there’s always someone I feel like I’m dating. There’s always someone who has my complete attention — and most of the time, they aren’t worthy of my attention. They’re only going to hurt me, disappoint me, shatter my heart.

I hate how easily I grow to care about people who could not care less about me. I hate how hard my heart pounds for people who are going to leave sometime soon. I hate how I get attached so quickly — but one day, I’ll find someone who gets attached to me too. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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