Whenever she’s drunk, she texts you. Even though her friends beg her not to, she still sends you random messages asking you how you’ve been. She might even admit that she misses you, that she still thinks about you.
And in the morning, once her hangover wears off and she scrolls through the old messages she sent, she hates herself. She wishes she never reached out to you. That she would have kept her feelings to herself.
She only texts you when she’s drunk, because when she’s sober, she’s able to think clearly. She has a hold over her emotions. She’s stable enough to push you to the back of her mind.
But after she sips from her wine glass or chugs a bottle of beer, she remembers how much she misses you. She stops paying attention to the people around her and thinks about how the only person that matters is missing from the room.
She only texts you when she’s drunk, because that’s when temptation gets the best of her. That’s when she decides that she can’t take it anymore, that she can’t stand one more second without you.
She only texts you when she’s drunk, because when she’s sober, she knows it’s a bad idea to let you back into her life. She knows that you two are over, that there’s no going back to the way things used to be.
But when she’s drunk, she forgets all that. Or maybe she remembers, but she just doesn’t care. She’s willing to make bad decisions. She’s willing to do something that she’ll regret in the morning if it means she gets to be happy for one night.
She only texts you when she’s drunk — but that’s not the only time when she thinks of you. You’re always on her mind. No matter what she does, no matter how many parties she goes to or hours of overtime she works, you’re still there in her thoughts.
There have been plenty of times when she has written out sober messages and then erased them before sending. When she considered calling you and asking you out for a coffee date. But she ignored her urges and went on with her day, because when she’s sober, she has strength.
When she’s sober, she doesn’t want you to know how much she misses you. She wants to prove to herself that she’s able to live without you. She wants you to think that she’s moved on and forgotten all about you.
She only texts you when she’s drunk, because that’s the only time when talking to you seems like a smart idea.
But as soon as the alcohol leaves her system and she’s sober again, she remembers the truth. That you belong in her past. That she can do better than you.