Thought Catalog
May 18, 2017

This Is Why The Strongest Girls Sometimes Come Across As Assholes

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What is the issue?
Unsplash / THomas Ramirez

Some people don’t understand you. They see you sitting alone at a coffee shop, drinking from your cup and skimming though a book, and they feel bad for you. They pity you. They wonder why you aren’t surrounded by friends.

They don’t understand that you made a choice to sit by yourself. That you don’t want any company. That you’re secure, which means you’re completely comfortable sitting alone in public, even though strangers are going to judge you. Even though people who don’t know a thing about you are going to make assumptions about your personality.

They’re going to assume that you’re lonely. That you wish someone would walk over, sit down, and hit on you.

They have no idea that you like being alone, that you’re happy by yourself, that you like the peace and quiet.

These people are used to seeing women who fake smiles and are overly polite. But if someone does something you’re uncomfortable with, you tell them no. To stop. To fuck off. You put them in their place instead of letting them walk all over you.

You don’t have a problem sticking up for yourself, because you know what you deserve. You know that you aren’t a piece of meat who should be stared at for so long that it becomes creepy, that it becomes a reason to worry for your safety.

Some people think you’re an asshole, because you’re confident. You’re independent. You can take care of yourself. You don’t take anyone else’s bullshit.

But you aren’t an asshole at all. You’re actually one of the nicest people in the world once someone gets to know you. They just have to be willing to wait a while, to peel back your layers.

It takes you longer than most to open up to new people, because you’ve been hurt so badly in the past. You know what it’s like to trust someone, reveal all of your secrets, and then have them leave with information you wish you would have kept to yourself.

You know what it’s like to feel the worst emotional pain possible — so you try your hardest to avoid having it happen to you again. You try to be careful about picking and choosing who you let into your life.

But that’s why your friendships last so long, why they’re so unbreakable. Because once you find someone you decide you can trust, you give all of your love to them. You treat them like family.

And if anyone ever messes with them, they’re going to have to deal with you. Because you hate seeing the people you care about hurt. You hate watching good people get taken advantage of.

You have a huge heart, but unfortunately, some people can’t see past your resting bitch face. Some people judge you before they even know you.

You’re a strong woman. And the right people, the people who belong in your life, are going to love that about you. TC mark