I want to kiss you, but I’ll keep acting like you’re just a friend. Like a hug is enough. Like whenever we touch, it’s only accidental. Like, even though we wait too long to pull our bodies away, it doesn’t mean a thing.
It doesn’t mean anything when you smile at me from across a room.
It doesn’t mean anything when we sit too close or stare too long.
It doesn’t mean anything when you call me by cute nicknames.
It doesn’t mean anything when you grab my hand or hold my waist.
That’s how we act when we’re together, casual, like those intimate moments are nothing special. But secretly, we both feel electrified. I know we do.
There’s this unspoken attraction between us. We never talk about it, we never acknowledge that it’s there, but we both know it exists.
We always dance around the truth. You tell me you like my dress or that my hair looks nice, and the concept is there — that you find me attractive. But you would never say that. You would never be that blunt with me.
It’s just like how I text you in the mornings and it means that I care, that you’re the first thought that pops into my mind — but I would never say that to you. I would never be brave enough to admit it.
At least we’re on the same page. You would never tell me that you want to date me and I would never ask.
Maybe we’re both cowards. Maybe we’re afraid of ruining something that has so much potential. Or maybe we’re just two idiots, letting a good thing slowly slip out of our grasp.
There’s clearly something unspoken between us, but I don’t want to sever our connection by moving too fast, by asking you what you’re thinking, by wondering where you see us going and if we’ll ever end up in a real relationship.
Of course, I don’t want to stay silent and have you walk away, either. I don’t want you to end up with some other girl. I don’t want to lose you because I’m too afraid to make a move.
Maybe tomorrow, I’ll find enough courage to tell you how I feel. I’ll finally hold you close and press my lips against you the same way I do in my daydreams.
But for now, I’ll keep making subtle comments about how much I like you without actually saying the words. I’ll keep complimenting you on your clothes and saying how lucky a girl would be to have you. I’ll keep hinting at my attraction without being too straightforward.
I’ll stay silent instead of saying all of the things that we should have said ages ago. I’ll keep it all inside, because if you can do it, so can I.
I can keep acting like you’re just a friend, even though we both know how badly I’ve been dying to kiss you.
And I know you feel the same.