Thought Catalog
April 13, 2017

Your Relationship Shouldn’t Stress You Out

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What is the issue?

It doesn’t matter how perfect you are together. There are still going to be days when you’re frustrated with each other. When every little thing they do annoys the hell out of you. When you need your space. 

But that shouldn’t happen every day of every week of every month. 

Most days, you should be relieved when you walk through the door and see their face. You should be proud to walk hand-in-hand with them, because you can’t believe you found someone that fits you so well. 

Your relationship isn’t supposed to be another source of stress. It’s supposed to help you relax, help you feel at ease, help you feel okay again.

If your boyfriend is making you cry every other night, he’s the wrong person for you. If your girlfriend starts a fight with you every other night, she’s the wrong person for you. 

You shouldn’t be scared to come home to them. Scared to glance at your phone and read their latest text. Scared of whether they’re going to try to resolve a fight with you or leave you behind. 

Your person is someone you should be able to talk to about anything. EverythingYou shouldn’t be terrified of telling them about your day, because you’re worried that they’re going to get jealous or mad or make you feel like crap.

Your forever person is supposed to be someone you can trust with your feelings. Someone that you can sit down with and have a serious conversation with about work or family or your own relationship.

When you’re with your person, you should feel relaxed, like it’s okay to be yourself. You shouldn’t be on edge. Fidgety. Nervous.

If you’re uncomfortable around them, if you constantly feel like they’re judging you over the things you do and don’t do, then they’re not the right person for you.

The right person for you will encourage you to speak your mind, even when they don’t like what they hear. The right person for you will respect all of your opinions, even the ones that they don’t agree with. The right person will give you the freedom to be authentic.

Fights are normal, but not when they’re happening every single night. Not when you’re consistently bawling your eyes out, alone, because your person doesn’t care enough to help calm you.

Work is meant to be stressful. School is meant to be stressful. But relationships are meant to be relaxing. They’re supposed to be a vacation from all the worries in your life.

You should look forward to date nights, not dread them. You should be eager to call your person, not keep putting it off.

Your person should make you feel relaxed. Relieved. Reassured.

If being with them is just another bullet point on your long list of reasons why you’re stressed, you’re better off single. You’re better off saying goodbye.

Because life is already stressful enough. You don’t need to make things even harder on yourself. TC mark