Thought Catalog
April 17, 2017

I Know You Don’t Want To Hear This, But You Broke Your Own Damn Heart

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What is the issue?
Twenty20
/ pratavetra_

You’re breaking your heart by keeping your feelings locked inside.

You’re breaking your heart by remaining silent instead of speaking out.

You’re breaking your heart by refusing to put yourself out there. By hoping a boy will walk up to you and ask you for your number, text you every morning, and take you out every night — instead of taking some initiative.

You wouldn’t wait for your dream job to fall into your lap, so why should you take an inactive approach when it comes to love? If you see someone you like, walk up to them and introduce yourself. Or at least aim a smile in their direction. Let them see you’re interested instead of acting like you couldn’t care less about their existence.

Because, guess what? If you won’t even make eye contact with them, if you keep your earphones plugged in and walk with your head down, they’re going to assume you want to be left alone. They’re going to walk past you without thinking twice.

You’re not the only one worried about rejection. Boys aren’t going to jump at the chance to ask you out if they assume you’re going to say no thank you. They might seem confident, but they’re secretly sensitive, too. They don’t want to make a fool of themselves, either.

So if that guy you’ve been crushing on ends up dating another girl, stop asking yourself what she has that you don’t and start asking yourself what she did that you didn’t.

Did you flirt with him or did you treat him like he was only a friend because you didn’t want to get turned down? Did you send the first text or did you wait for him to do it because you didn’t want him to know how you really felt, that you really cared?

Playing hard to get isn’t always going to work, especially now when there are a million options out there with Tinder and Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel.

If you don’t let someone know that you’re interested, they’re going to find someone else who is.

This doesn’t mean you should admit you’re in love with someone the first time you talk to them. It doesn’t mean you should always be sending the first texts, endlessly compliment them, and plan dates while they sit on their ass, either.

It just means you both need to put in effort. You both need to show interest. Otherwise, one person is going to assume that they care more and move on. No one wants to feel unwanted.

You’re breaking your own heart by refusing to express your feelings. By acting like you aren’t interested in the people you’re dying to date. By trying to come across as the girl that doesn’t care about anyone instead of just being yourself, being honest.

You can’t keep waiting for the perfect moment to ask him out or tell him how you feel, because the more time you wait, the more time he has to find someone else. So if you really want him, stop procrastinating and start talking.

You need to put yourself out there, because it’s better for you to take a risk and have someone else break your heart than to keep breaking it on your own. TC mark