1. You bail on your friends.
There are times when you don’t feel like leaving the house, even though you already have plans, so you tell your friends you can’t make it. You don’t think the group will suffer without you. In fact, you think that they’ll have more fun without you.
Of course, that isn’t the case at all and they end up wondering why you never hang out with them, if you hate them all. It ends up making the people you love feel shitty.
2. You always leave early.
You feel like you don’t fit in at parties, so you make up lies about how you have to wake up early for work the next day or how you have to get home to feed your dog. You don’t want to overstay your welcome, so you’re usually the first one to walk out the door.
But, the thing is, everyone realizes that you’re lying, that you want to get out of there — but they don’t know why. They just think that you want to be alone. That you’re bored of them. That you weren’t having any fun.
3. You look miserable all the time.
Everyone around you is laughing, but you’re struggling to have a good time. The best you can do is fake a smile and they see right through it.
Everyone takes your misery personally, but it has nothing to do with them at all. You’re just depressed. You can’t help it. You wish they understood that.
4. You don’t want any pictures taken of you.
Whenever someone tries to snap a photo of you, you hide your face or yell at them to put down the camera. You hate what you look like, so you don’t want your face to be posted all over social media.
You know your friend was just trying to make some memories with you, but you ruined the fun anyway because of your low self-esteem.
5. You let people walk out of your life.
You never send the first text. You never invite people over to your house. You’re so worried about rejection that you keep yourself in a bubble.
And, when you don’t reach out to people, they assume that you don’t want them around. Slowly, they stop speaking to you, and you don’t do anything to stop them from leaving for good.
6. You stay silent.
When you feel like you have nothing to add to a conversation, you just sit there and listen. You’re quiet, because you don’t want to make a fool of yourself by saying something stupid.
But certain people think that your silence means you’re snobby. That you wish you were somewhere else — and sometimes, that’s exactly the case.
7. You never really talk about yourself.
You don’t think you’re all that interesting, so you never talk about your hobbies or career or weekend. What are you going to say? That you spent the last three days in bed, binge watching 13 Reasons Why? You don’t think anyone wants to hear that.
You don’t even like to make eye contact or smile at strangers, because you’re so insecure, which is why people think you don’t want anything to do with them.
8. You never accept compliments.
When someone tells you how attractive you are, you shake your head and laugh. When someone tells you that they like your eyes or your glasses, you turn the conversation around and mention how much you hate them.
You never do the polite thing and say thank you because you don’t believe they’re telling the truth. And it makes you look like a bit of a bitch.
9. You don’t try to fix your problems.
When you upset one of your friends, you don’t try to apologize and make things right again. You just accept that they’re out of your life forever. You don’t think that you deserve their friendship anyway.
So you let them leave your life without telling them how much you love them. Without fighting to keep the friendship intact.
10. You turn down dates.
Even if you really like someone, you hesitate to have dinner with them, because you’re worried about everything that could go wrong. What if you spill your food? Say something stupid? Have your credit card declined?
Dating just seems like more trouble than it’s worth, which is why you’re always alone, why you always push great people away.
All in all, you feel like you don’t deserve happiness. And it’s ruining your life.