1. You try to look good for him. You post hot Instagram pictures in the hopes that he’ll see them. And if you think you’re going to run into him, you put a little extra effort into your appearance. You tell yourself that you’re trying to make him jealous, show him what he’s missing. But really, you’re hoping he decides he wants you back.
2. You talk about him all the time. It doesn’t matter if you’re griping about how much you miss him or if you’re complaining about what a huge asshole he was. If he’s a topic of conversation at every girls night out, then you still have feelings for him. Otherwise, you wouldn’t keep dropping his name.
3. You hate yourself for losing him. You don’t understand what you did wrong. Were you too clingy? Too eager? Too touchy? You still question yourself. And you kind of hate yourself. You feel like maybe if you did something differently, he’d still be around.
4. Everything reminds you of him. Love songs. Couples in movies. Couples in books. Couples you see holding hands at the mall. They all make you think of your old relationship. They make you miss what you used to have with him.
5. You refuse to get rid of the memories. You keep the selfies you took together. You hold onto the presents he bought you. You save screenshots of your old conversations. And more than you’d like to admit, you sit up in bed and look through them all.
6. You aren’t interested in any other guys. If someone asks you out, you turn them down. You don’t even consider accepting their offer. You don’t want to jump back into the dating pool. You want to stay single. Available. Just in case.
7. You keep in constant contact with him. Exes can be friends — but there are boundaries. Are you flirting with him whenever you get the chance? Are you touching him inappropriately? Trying to pry about his love life? Are you only being a good friend or is it more than that?
8. You compare everyone to him. Whenever you meet someone new, you either say that they’re too similar to your ex or too different. No one ever strikes the right balance. No one is ever good enough for you — because you don’t want some other guy. You only want your ex.
9. You still treat him like he’s your boyfriend. The breakup didn’t change much. You still text him all the time. You still consider him a close friend. Sometimes, you even sext him or hookup and then try to convince yourself it was casual, that it didn’t mean a thing.
10. You drunk text him. Whenever you have a few beers or a glass of wine, you grab your phone to talk to him. It happens every damn time. You can’t help yourself.
11. You’re always thinking about him. You replay memories with him. You daydream about him. You masturbate to him. He never leaves your mind for long.