1. Someone that waits on us hand and foot. Believe it or not, we don’t want you to act like our butler. We just want you to contribute to the household chores. We don’t want to be the only one that washes gunk off the dishes or washes your nasty underwear. We want you to do half of the work.
2. Someone that’s there all the time. We’re going to get pissed when you ignore our texts, but that doesn’t mean we need all of your attention all of the time. We like it when you give us a little space. We have lives of our own.
3. Someone with a good job. It’s not that we want you to bring home a big paycheck. We just want you to have a job. Any job. We want to know that you’re doing something with your life. That you have goals. That you’re willing to go after what you want.
4. A romantic. We want to eat dinner by candlelight and have sex on a bed covered in rose petals, but we aren’t expecting to do that every week–or even every month. We just want you to put in occasional effort to show that you still give a damn.
5. A prince in shining armor. Yes, we love Disney movies, but no, we don’t think that they’re a reality. Besides, we don’t need saving. We don’t need a hero. We can take care of ourselves.
6. A sensitive soul. We don’t want you to be afraid to cry in front of us. But that doesn’t mean we need you to be mushy all the time. Basically, you should be yourself and we’ll be happy.
7. Someone that doesn’t give a damn about sex. No, we don’t want you to only like us for our bodies. But we do want you to like our bodies. We have sex drives, too. We want to fuck just as badly as you do. But it’s not all we want to do.
8. Someone that always lets us get our way. If you agreed with everything we said, then our relationship would never last. Sometimes we’re wrong. Sometimes you need to tell us we’re acting insane. Just don’t use the word insane.
9. A supermodel. We want you to groom yourself and dress in clothing that’s actually been through the wash. But you don’t need to hit the gym until your muscles are bulging out.
10. A sugar daddy. You don’t need a fancy car. You don’t need designer clothes. And you don’t need to buy us diamond necklaces. But on our birthdays, it wouldn’t hurt for you to spend fifty bucks on something you know we’d love.
11. A sex god. It doesn’t matter how experienced you are or how stubborn our body is. You just need to look and listen. With enough time, you’ll be able to make us orgasm. That’s all we want. Along with a bit of foreplay.
12. The perfect man. We’re not turning you down, because of your minuscule flaws. Everyone has flaws. We’re just looking for someone that we have chemistry with. Someone that respects us and consistently shows that they care about us.
13. Someone to make us whole. We’re already whole. If we date you, it’s because we want to, not because we need to.