September 16, 2016

Don’t Think About Boys This Weekend

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Troy Freyee
Troy Freyee

I don’t care if you’re single and hopelessly looking for someone to love or if you’re in a bumpy relationship and want advice from your friends. For this weekend, and this weekend only, leave your crush’s name out of your mouth.

Don’t talk about how cute he looked in his sweatshirt or that sweet text he sent you. Don’t talk about the weird status he posted or the way that he’s been ignoring you. Don’t even talk about how you’re so done with boys and never want to date again.

When you take the topic of boys off of the table, you’ll get to share interesting little tidbits about your lives. You can talk about the girl at work that gave you eyebrow shaping advice. The boring talk show you sat through with your mother. The new store you found with killer sales. The asshole that cut you off on the highway the other day. Share anything. Everything.

Go out to bars or clubs or restaurants, but instead of pointing out the boys that you think are attractive, instead of flirting with the waiter or the bartender, compliment each other. Help your friends regain the confidence that douchebag boys have knocked out of them.

And instead of dressing in the clothing you think men will like, dress in the clothing that make you feel good about yourself. If you’re most comfortable in sweatpants and a tank-top, then slip into them. If you’d rather wear a romper or a sundress, that’s okay too, but make sure it’s what you want. Don’t aim to impress anybody else–except maybe your friends.

You can talk about sex, but don’t talk about the last time you got laid. Talk about the new vibrator you bought or the surprisingly helpful article you read about orgasms. Talk about the gross porn you stumbled across or your latest visit to the gynecologist.

If you have to talk about boys, if your hormones are pushing you to the brink of insanity, then don’t talk about your exes or the fuckboys you’ve seen on Tinder. Talk about Chris Pratt or Lip from Shameless. Talk about the boys you can pull up a Youtube video of and fawn over. The boys that won’t let you down, because you know they’re meant to be looked at, but not touched.

But after you’re done staring at eye candy over a screen, go back to talking about the little things. About the tattoo you’re planning on getting. About the concert you’re dying to go to. About the pet that just chewed apart your living room. If you’re really as close as you think you are, then you won’t have any trouble coming up with new topics of conversations.

There’s so much more to life than boys, so this weekend, forget about them. TC mark

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