August 16, 2016

Before I Met You, I Didn’t Believe In Love

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 Twenty20, pattyrooney
Twenty20, pattyrooney

Before I met you, I thought mixed signals and vague texts were always a part of flirting. That I would look desperate if I actually decided to be honest about my feelings. That the only way to land a guy was to act like I couldn’t care less about him.

Before I met you, I thought that my friend’s relationships, filled with lying and cheating and mistrust, were normal. That snooping through your partner’s texts and accusing them of cheating was perfectly fine. That relationships were meant to be filled with doubt.

Before I met you, I thought that men only flirted with me when they wanted to fuck me. That I was only useful when it came to giving blowjobs and sending sexts. That the only reason a man would spend time with me was so he could get in my pants.

Before I met you, I thought couples who talked about spending forever together were complete idiots. That it was only a matter of time until they realized that their love story was a lie. That they would end up breaking up and crying their eyes out for months until they met someone else they could pretend they had a permanent future with.

Before I met you, I told myself that I was better off being alone. That dating would only lead to heartbreak. That there wasn’t a single man on the face of the planet that deserved my love.

Before I met you, I thought all relationships were destined to end. That everyone cheated. That it was only a matter of time before one person got bored with the other and did something stupid to screw everything up.

Before I met you, I looked for reasons to push people away. I searched for flaws in every guy I was interested in, so I would be able to convince myself to stop liking them. I broke their hearts before they could break mine.

Before I met you, I rolled my eyes whenever a romantic scene popped up on the big screen. I turned the radio off whenever I heard a song about a man confessing his undying love to a woman. I shut my book whenever I read a corny line about how two characters were two halves of the same soul.

Before I met you, I didn’t think that it was possible for a man to have a crush on me, let alone fall madly in love with me. I didn’t think I would ever get married, even if I decide that it was what I wanted. I thought I’d spend eternity alone.

Before I met you, I never thought I’d last more than six months in a relationship. I never thought someone would love and accept me, even when I was hyper or frustrated or moody. I never thought I’d meet someone who enjoyed every part of me.

Before I met you, I never imagined myself walking down the aisle in a lacy white dress. I never even imagined myself sharing an apartment with a man. I could’ve never imagined what I have now, because I never imagined meeting someone like you. TC mark

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