August 26, 2016

13 Things He’ll Do During Sex If He’s Cheating Behind Your Back

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What is the issue?
Twenty20, _eatandlove_
Twenty20, _eatandlove_

1. He uses a shit ton of new moves and puts you into new positions that you’ve never tried before. When you ask him where he came up with the ideas, he isn’t able to give you an answer, because he learned them in bed with somebody else and doesn’t want you to know.

2. He picks positions where he doesn’t have to look you in the eyes or kiss your lips. Whenever you do see his face, his eyes are closed or are staring at the wall behind you, because he’s fantasizing about someone else.

3. He looks different down there. Even though he normally complains about how much he hates shaving, his genitals are now completely bare. He’s taken his manscaping up a notch for seemingly no reason at all.

4. You never even have sex, because he’s completely stopped initiating it. Even when you try to get him in the mood, he makes up shitty excuses to put it off, because he’s getting all he needs from another woman.

5. Or he starts initiating sex way more than usual. He feels guilty about cheating, so he’s trying to make it up to you by making you orgasm as many times as humanly possible.

6. Even though he should know you well by now, he starts doing things you hate in bed. He might be getting your preferences confused with the other woman’s preferences.

7. He brings up random changes that he wants you to make to your body. Even though he’s always loved your brown hair, he’s telling you to dye it blonde. Even though he’s always liked your Brazilian waxes, he’s asking you to stop shaving.

8. For some reason, he’s lasting a long time in bed, even though it’s never taken him all that long to cum in the past. Either he’s been masturbating a lot or he’s been getting some strange on the side.

9. He mentions how he wants to recreate a sexy night you two had together, but once he explains the night he’s talking about, you realize it never actually happened. He’s getting his memories confused.

10. All of a sudden, he has abs and muscular arms, even though he’s been heavy since you’ve first met him. He’s either going through a mid-life crisis or is trying to impress the new woman in his life.

11. He doesn’t want to cuddle after he cums. In fact, he usually ends up starting a fight with you as soon as everything is said and done. Those mood swings have become common inside and outside of the bedroom, because of his guilty conscience.

12. Something is different. Maybe he’s wearing an expensive new cologne. Maybe he’s asking you to use handcuffs in the bedroom, even though you know he’s never wanted to do that before and he can’t explain why he suddenly wants to do it now.

13. He says the wrong name. There’s no flag bigger or redder than this one. TC mark

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