1. Louis CK
I met Louis CK. I was walking past him in NYC and said “hello Louis, I won’t bother you!”
He said “hello, yes, please don’t.”
2. Ben Stiller
Saw Ben Stiller eating a cheeseburger in a restaurant. My table didn’t have any ketchup, his did. I asked him if he was done with his ketchup, he nodded and passed it over to me. I said thanks. He nodded again and kept eating.
3. Mike Myers
I once was walking late at night in Soho with a friend and we walked past Mike Myers. Friend says to me “Was that Mike Myers?” A good beat later we hear him go “Yes it was!” from behind us on the street.
Harrison Ford is concise.
Venice Beach on a bike.
Friend asks: “Are you H-”
DMX gave me 20 dollars to get away from him.
I saw Stevie Wonder at an airport once. I waved.
7. Jim Carrey
My friend screamed at Jim Carrey until he waved at us.
I yelled out, “Sorry!”
He yelled out, “It’s ok!”
Mike Tyson sat next to my parents at my high school graduation. He was friendly and gladly took pictures with anyone who asked.
Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger ordered before me at Starbucks. I didn’t understand why my friends were making weird noises and gestures until I heard him ask his kids (in his Arnold voice) “Do you want a scone?” They both said no. He was orange and wearing cargo shorts.
Walked past Stephen Merchant in London. I nodded my head and gave him an ‘alright’, to which he nodded back.
Nice guy 8/10 would walk past again.
10. Taylor Swift
I once watched from afar while Taylor Swift ordered a mocha at Starbucks. Pretty boring.
11. Chris Farley
When I was 6-years-old, I went swimming with my brothers at a hotel in Pasadena, but had no bathing suit, so swam in a shirt and some biking shorts. Chris Farley was swimming in the deep end, I jumped in next to him and he says, “swimming in your clothes huh?”
I once crossed a crosswalk going one way, with Josh from Drake & Josh going the other way. We locked eyes, Josh put on the biggest “oh you recognize me” smile and I just looked away.
13. Bill Murray
Bill Murray’s kids went/go to my high school. He is/was at all the bullshit, intolerably mundane school functions. Weird contrast.
14. Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris’s nephew graduated with me as did Rex Tillerson’s (the CEO of Exxon). Both guys came to our graduation and Chuck sat a row below my mom, who had no clue why the entire class was staring at her.
15. Andre 3000
My best friend is Andre 3000’s niece and when I see him (Andre 3000), sometimes all he does is say “sup” and walk away.
16. Keith Urban
I sat next to Keith Urban on a plane. He was reading a magazine he was on the cover of. I fell asleep before take off.
17. Samuel L Jackson
Me and a friend were at the same party as Samuel L Jackson. I said “hey, is that Samuel L Jackson?” and he said “that’s racist, man.”
It actually was Samuel L Jackson.
I stood in line for an hour for a “Meet and Greet” with Scarlett Johansson. When it was my turn, she shook my hand and said “Hi, I’m Scarlett Johansson.” I was thinking to myself, “Yeah I know, I just stood in line for an hour to meet you.” Meh, I guess I should have expected that from a “Meet and Greet.” But then I got to take a picture with her and she put her arm around my waist.
19. Emma Watson
I took an English class with Emma Watson. One day I needed to borrow a pencil to sign something. She lent it to me, and I gave it back to her afterwards.
20. Tom Cruise
I was in Massachusetts on vacation, and saw Tom Cruise walking down the street the other way. I looked a little puzzled, because I wasn’t sure it was him at first. He picked up on this, nodded slightly and mouthed “yep” to me. I smiled back and said “hey” as we passed.
21. Steve Carell
I subbed for adult hockey teams sometimes in the summer got to play with Steve Carell, was pretty quiet just kept to himself. I spent most of the game setting him up when I got him a goal and went to celebrate he wasn’t that ecstatic. It was honestly pretty surreal at the same time since I was a big fan of The Office.
22. Jack Black
Literally ran into Jack Black at Sasquatch. We both say sorry, there was an awkward silence, I said, “People have always said I look like you.” He said,”I don’t see the resemblance.” I I said,”Me either.” And we walked away.
23. Lil Jon
My French teacher saw Lil Jon in a burger place and told us she yelled “Hi Lil Jon!!” at him. He looked surprised. She’s a 60 year old white woman.
24. Teri Hatcher
Teri Hatcher stepped on my dogs tail at a festival in Princeton, NJ. I was 9 years old and was a big Lois and Clark fan. Now I hate her.
25. Aaron Paul
I saw Aaron Paul (Jesse from Breaking Bad) at a nightclub in Mexico City back in March. I went up to talk with him, but it was really loud and we couldn’t exactly hear each other. He pointed and nodded to me (my dress?) in a (platonic, friendly) manner and animatedly said something while smiling. He was sitting at a table with a few people and so after a few moments of friendly miming I waved goodbye and left. His facial expressions and silent words were very friendly.
Although we couldn’t hear each other, I would like to imagine he was telling me how cool I was and asked me to go to go fly planes with him in New Zealand.
26. John Cleese
About 6 months ago I was shopping in a grocery store when a tall gawky man rushes past me. I think to myself “what a prick” when he turns around and says “terribly sorry, excuse me” and reaches in between me and my friend to grab some salad fixings from the cooler we were standing in front of. It’s then that the cogs are starting to turn in my head. I’ve heard that voice before. Basil Fawlty. Ministry of silly walks. The man who’s hand is in my face belongs to none other than John. Fucking. Cleese. I start to sputter and apology but he’s already rushed off, he was in a rush to leave the store because people kept stopping him to talk. It was an experience I’ll never forget, but none the less a fairly boring encounter.
27. Kevin McHale
I was in a Golf Galaxy. I picked up an Odyssey putter. Next to me is Celtics Hall of Famer Kevin McHale. Kevin Mchale asked me, “You like that putter?.” I said, “Yea.”
28. Mitt Romney
I met Mitt Romney.
He was a prick. A smooth, superior prick.
29. George Takei
I’m a gay guy and was in Hawaii with my partner. George Takei and his partner were staying at the same hotel. We saw him first in one of the gift shops, but didn’t say anything because, you know, he was there on vacation like the rest of us and we assumed he wouldn’t want to be bothered.
The next morning, the four of us were all in the club lounge together. No one else was there, except the employees. He was drinking coffee, maybe doing the crossword. His partner was reading the paper. We were on the other side of the lounge drinking coffee and eating yogurt.
Because of this, I now tell people that I had coffee with George Takei in Hawaii.
I once tripped Vin Diesel with a retractable dog leash on the running path along Manhattan Beach. He almost fell, but untangled himself and was on his way before I had time to stutter something flattering. Sorry about that sir. You, are dead sexy. I was an 18-year-old kid.
One year later, I step on Stephen King’s foot while leaving a movie theatre (Gangs of New York). Dude is crazy looking up close.
So basically I’ve become a minor inconvenience to two celebrities I actually really like. Smooooth…
Waited on Oprah when she came to a restaurant I worked at. Thing was, she was in incognito mode so we didn’t even recognize her until after her table of 7 was sat. As a staff, we went from “well, that’s stedman, he comes in pretty frequently, no big deal”, to “oh wow, I think that’s gayle…I wonder if Oprah…oh my god, that’s Oprah RIGHT THERE”. pretty unremarkable table; tipped 20%.
32. Ryan Stiles
I saw Ryan Stiles at the grocery store while I was at checkout. I was going to say something to him, but he had already left by the time I had paid.
33. Barack Obama
Barack Obama and 2 of his aides came to a pizza joint I worked at in Philly in 07 or 08 asking for honey for his tea, and I had to tell them to go next door to Wawa. I turned down the President.