1. Was pregnant
It might not count because I was massively pregnant but I woke up in the middle of the night, poured an entire box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch into a big glass bowl, threw in a bag of marshmallows, drizzled it with melted butter and then put it in the microwave to melt the marshmallows. I then watched Dexter for 2 hours and ate the whole thing while crying.
Okay I have the perfect story for this.
I told my wife I was going to the gym, but somehow I ended up going to Mcdonald’s instead.
I ate my cheeseburgers in a parking lot, and waited a little while until it seemed long enough for a workout.
When I got home, I poured water on my head and shirt to look like I had been sweating.
That is the absolute saddest and fattest thing I have ever done.
I ate half of a cake once when I should have only one piece. I was horrified and didn’t want anyone to know, so I finished the cake, baked a whole new one, forced myself to eat the one allowed piece.
Then I barfed in the middle of dinner.
I once ate almost an entire bucket of those cheese balls then I sat there in my orange shame reflecting on the choices I’ve made.