INTJs are the strategic, forward-thinking masterminds of the MBTI. Intensely independent and deeply analytical, this type is often perceived as intimidating by those who do not know them well. This week on my MBTI Facebook page, I asked INTJs what they wish the other types understood about them. Here is what they had to say.
1. “We actually do experience rather intense emotion; we just tend to not express it.”
2. “INTJs are constantly seeking new knowledge. Extroverts are so attractive to us because they come at things from such a different angle it surprises us and makes them fascinating. If you’re an extrovert, just be yourself.”
3. “I’m not angry, I don’t hate you, I’m not having a terrible time, and I don’t think I am better than you or this place. I just haven’t yet decided how to interact with this group of people or how to join this conversation appropriately, so instead of looking like a fool, I will remain quiet and just observe while I figure it out.”
4. “Being direct and rational is not the same thing as being rude.”
5. “Most common stereotypes about INTJs are only true for underdeveloped, relatively immature INTJs. They come across as aloof or smug because they’re very much in touch with their logical and intellectual side, but not at all in touch with their emotions. Once they expand their introverted feeling and get in touch with their extroverted sensing, they evolve into a richer and much more genial version of themselves, to the point that they might become unrecognizable to everybody that knows them!”
6. “I’m not a bitch. I’m just a woman who tells it like it is. We’re not all feelers; please stop expecting us to be.”
7. “I take a long time to make some decisions because I need to think abut the full experience and create it in my head first and plan how it might go. I can’t just decide to go rock climbing or go to the movies on the spot.”
8. “My resting bitch face means I’m in a good mood and am open to answer any questions.”
9. “We don’t want world domination. We just want everyone to shut up and do what we tell them.”
10. “We are more than our insensitive, cold stereotypes. Even though we may not reveal the depths and wide range of our emotions, we do have them, and it would do well for others to realize that.”
11. “I probably like and appreciate you more than you think I do.”
12. “Stop assuming I don’t care about your feelings or needs just because I don’t always anticipate them. Don’t expect me to guess, there are way too many variables to think about. Ask me for what you want. Tell me what’s going on with you and I will help if I can. I might even hug you if you feel bad.”
13. “I am not mad at you, That’s just my face.”
14. “Though we tend to be good at hiding our emotions (for personal reasons perhaps), we still have them and need to express them.”
15. “We’re not antisocial, we just need alone time to recharge. If I’m not agreeing to hang out right away it’s because I may not know how I’ll be feeling later and whether or not I’ll need alone time to collect myself.”
16. “I take a long time to make some decisions because I need to think about the full experience and create it in my head first and plan how it might go. I can’t just decide to go rock climbing or go to the movies on the spot; I need to create a picture in my mind of how it might go first and see it from different angles before I can decide.”
17. “We are not all villains; we just have a hard time relating to you. Approach us calmly and look for common ground, and we can be very warm-hearted individuals.”
18. “My need to be alone does not mean I don’t like you or enjoy your company.”
19. “I’m not as detached or uninterested as you think. In fact, I usually have a lot to say in response to others’ thoughts/opinions and I often draw up an incredibly intricate argument in my head. I just don’t say anything because it’s difficult to put such intricate thoughts and arguments into mere words.”
20. “Most of the time, I just don’t know how to communicate my thoughts or feelings in the most effective translation, so I settle on not saying anything at all to avoid an overly-lengthy conversation about a topic I’m not incredibly invested in. But INTJs are still nice, sort of caring people.”
21. “If I retreat I am processing. I (probably) don’t hate you.”
22. “I’m extremely insightful. Other people’s inability to see what I see doesn’t make me a nutcase.”
23. “I’m not actually trying to be condescending (all the time).”
24. “I’m not a snob, I’m actually petrified of small talk. In most cases, you’re going to have to initiate the conversation.”
25. “Nothing’s wrong! I’m just focusing on something right now.”
26. “We have feelings and emotions. We just regulate them and don’t act on them. We’re feel and empathize just as much as anyone else. We just use logic and reason to guide our expression and acceptance of these.”
27. “We push ourselves harder because we know what we are capable of, therefore we also hold ourselves (and others) to a higher standard.”
