ENFJs are the empathetic, warm-hearted teachers of the MBTI. This highly intuitive type has a knack for getting others to open up – but they aren’t as quick to open up themselves. This week on my MBTI Facebook page, I asked ENFJs what they wish the other types understood about their personalities. Here’s what they had to say.
1. “We are meddling because we love you and of course we know better!”
2. “We are capable of rational thought! Well… unless we’re meddling.”
3. “Being kind, enthusiastic, and giving is not the same as flirting. We genuinely enjoy connecting with people, and for its own sake. Not usually with ulterior motives.”
4. “Sometimes we get very tired of all this giving support and being warm too. We just want someone to get us too, understand without words and give unyielding support. We have the hardest time asking for it.”
5. “When we tell you about our insights into a person, believe it, because later when you circle back to tell us how shocked you were that we turned out to be right, it’s hard not to want to roll our eyes at you. I know, how arrogant, but there it is.”
6. “We’re not ALL huggers!”
7. “We can be shy too! Just because we crave social interaction doesn’t mean we always feel 100% confident initiating it, especially if we have feelings for a person. Sometimes we want you to approach us.”
8. “There’s nothing we need more than to sit with a good friend and a bottle of wine as we explain all the ways we’ve been trying to fix the world. The biggest gift is if someone will just sit and unwind with us and actually listen and analyze all the details about all the relationships and emotions we’ve been sorting through for everyone else.”
9. “We really do try not to interfere… but it’s painful for us to watch you make the same mistakes over and over again.”
10. “I won’t get into heated arguments with others about my morals or beliefs but that doesn’t mean I don’t have them. It just means I don’t want to step on your toes or shove my beliefs down your throat. If you get to know an ENFJ better, you’ll usually find that they’re a lot more opinionated than you originally thought.”
11. “Yes. We could do it your way. But why would we try your way when we can do it the right way?”
12. “We’re not manipulators and we don’t break our way through anyone’s life. We know when people don’t want to talk and we let them be after telling them that we’re there if they need us. We’re also not busybodies who don’t know how to take care of themselves because they’re so busy with others. We’re independent and know very well how to take care of ourselves.”
13. “Yes we are emotionally strong but that doesn’t mean we’re always okay. Please ask us every once in a while.”
14. “You don’t need to pretend to be strong around us. We really do want to hear your problems and help you – when you shut us out, we feel useless.”
15. “Don’t mistake out kindness for weakness.”
