ENFP: Starts writing every essay at 5pm the day before it’s due and has still written nothing at 3am after cleaning their room, calling their mother, having a dance party, booking a spontaneous trip for spring break and composing several inspired blog articles.

ESTP: Attends class for the sole purpose of maintaining their sports scholarship and/or fraternity presidency.

INFJ: Is consistently torn between their desire to earn straight As and their desire to lament over their latest existential crisis.

ISTP: Manages to completely flip their sleep schedule by the end of freshman year and is not seen in broad daylight again until graduation day.

INFP: Is enthralled to finally leave their small, conservative town and befriend other social justice enthusiasts whom they probably already know from tumblr.

ESTJ: Is that student at the front of the lecture hall who puts up their hand and answers a question that nobody asked, just to show that they did all the readings.

ISTJ: Borders on a heart attack every time an assignment is handed back without adequate explanation as to exactly why they didn’t achieve a higher mark.

ENFJ: Somehow gets straight 90s while also running several campus clubs and maintaining a serious relationship.

INTJ: Does all the required reading for the upcoming year over summer break and spends the remainder of the school year feeling vaguely annoyed with his or her classmates who just cannot seem to keep up.

ENTJ: Is only in school as a formality – they’ve already lined up several competitive post-graduation job offers.

INTP: Lands a job as a lab assistant in their first year and is not seen outside of said lab until fifteen years later when they graduate with a PhD or three.

ENTP: Goes to lectures for classes they’re not even in and plays devil’s advocate to everything the professor says, just for fun.

ISFJ: Spends four years taking care of their drunken roommates. Starts dating the person they’ll eventually marry by the end of freshman year.

ESFJ: Sits in the front of every lecture hall, color-coding their notes using various highlighters and reminding you how much you don’t have your life together.

ISFP: Does a lot of drugs but nonetheless ends up landing a job in a creative field, earning more money than many of their high-achieving classmates.

ESFP: Probably coined the phrase, “Work hard, play hard” during their college years. Emphasis on the play hard.