April 17, 2014

29 Struggles Only Canadians Will Understand

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What is the issue?

1. Finding yourself regularly apologizing to inanimate objects that you bump into.

2. The uphill battle of texting with mittens on.

3. Faithfully buying roll-up-the-rim cups every day for two months, only to find the winner of the grand prize dug the cup out of a trashcan.

4. The tragic day in your life when you realized the house hippo doesn’t actually exist.

5. Having one of your major cities be known internationally as the city governed by the crack-smoking weirdo.

6. Quebec trying to break up with us every five minutes.

7. When traffic is held up by a flock of Canadian geese who are taking their sweet old time crossing the road.

8. Not being able to find a decent poutine or maple syrup when you go abroad.

9. Finding a sweet deal online — and then realizing you’re on the American version of the website.

10. Spellcheck refusing to recognize “Canadian English” as a language.

11. Being too lazy to fully defrost your windshield and trying to navigate your way to work through a tiny clearing in the driver’s side of the windshield.

12. That day in March when you get irrationally optimistic that spring is, in fact, on its way… only to wake up to a huge pile of snow the next morning.

13. Paying significantly more money for domestic flights than international ones.

14. Patriotically rooting for the Toronto Maple Leafs and then always having to drown your sorrows in a six pack of Canadian by the end of the night.

15. “This video is not available in your country.”

16. Realizing that most of the money in your wallet is actually Canadian tire money.

17. Watching Atlanta freak out about a snow storm that is reminiscent of any mild Canadian flurry.

18. Your International friends visiting Vancouver and expecting you to pop by for a weekend from Toronto.

19. People asking you if you went to Degrassi Junior High.

20. Having to customize every Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

21. Canadian. Netflix.

22. That entire season where it’s too cold for your spring jacket but too warm for your winter one.

23. Trying to type a question mark on a French keyboard and having it come out as É.

24. Sad Canadian versions of reality TV shows that make our country look kind of pathetic. (I’d like to personally apologize on behalf of The Bachelor Canada.)

25. People misunderstanding how to use “Eh” in a sentence.

26. Going to a French-speaking country and being appalled that they don’t understand Québécois.

27. People looking at you like you’re heartless when you tell them how delicious beaver tails are.

28. Never being sure if you’re supposed to sing the French or the English version of “Oh Canada.”

29. Being the brunt of all jokes from your American friends… but still knowing that there’s no place on earth you’d rather live. TC mark

image – Shutterstock

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Heidi Priebe

Heidi is a Canadian-born coffee addict who recently abandoned her pen name in favor of never being employable again.

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