If My Voicemail Greeting Had An MFA
Who be I? I am your humble narrator, the voicemail greeting, the conduit between you and my master
Sometimes I Think You’re Only Friends With Me Because Of My Boat
I’m sure your intentions are good. It’s just that since we last talked back in September of last year — coincidentally when I’d also put my boat into storage for the winter — I haven’t heard from you.
Will There Be Food?
Basically, what I’m trying to say
Without coming off as rude
I’d just really like to know beforehand
Will there be food?