Many 20-something hate being in the age of 20-something. They hate all the confusion of what they should be, what should do, whom they should be, and need to do. They are thorn between being who they are and what the society wants them to be.
But is it just me or are there others who actually love being 20-something and experience all the love-hate relationship with small things?
Are you one those 20-somethins who love to stay late at nigh talking with friends until the rooster crows? Until you woke up in the morning and you need to go to work and regret what happened last night. But instead of regretting too much and crying over a spilled milk, you reserve a little mischievous smile big enough to enveloped your warm heart inside you because you feel badass by actually doing what you are afraid to do. You realized that time is not enslaving you but rather the opposite. You came to the terms with yourself that friends are forever whilst work is a temporary baggage.
Or do you cancel plans with workmates and friends on Friday night just to hang out with yourself? It’s not that you don’t want to hang out with them it’s just that after a really tiring week with different people, you need to refill yourself. You’re now valuing the me-time and you don’t crave for people’s attention anymore. You spend those Friday nights alone with a book you’ve been trying to read whole week, or spending with your parents who’ve missed you so much as much you’ve missed them in a dinner date, or finally trying to drink that wine or whiskey by yourself in a bathtub with jazz music playing in the background. It’s not me-time at all because you’re accompanied by a book, parents, or music but the reason it’s called me-time is because you spend those nights with the things and people that you value and love. Here’s the thing, you still wonder what your friends are actually doing during those nights but you don’t give a 100% fuck just a 0.01% fuck.
20-something is spending your free time daydreaming of a good life but most of us, 20-somethings, are daydreaming a lot of free time to daydream. The confusion you feel of living in your daydreams and making it happen and making the daydreams worth living, you forget to live it. But you love daydreaming and its promise. You love those images inside your mind; the glimpses of who you could be in the future if you only know how to get there.
You are still undecided whether you like tea or coffee, you are in the middle of young adult novels and biographies. You want the mixture of everything, the taste of youth slowly fading and the fast approaching adulthood, and living grandiose life or a minimalist one.
But all I know is this, despite of all the confusion and indecisions, you, me, we, still love being in this age of uncertainties. The surprise. The unknown. The future. It may be the phase of knowing who you are and what you want, I know for a fact that we will all get there.
You don’t know everything yet especially the future if it still wants you in it, but the fact that you get to be confused and still choose for yourself to the point of delaying something your parents really want for you in life is already a testament of you trying.
I love being 20-something because I got to have my time to re-read my favorite books and read new ones, decide what job I want for myself, the places I want to visit, food I wan to taste, and people I want to date. I get to be in control of my future for a while and enjoy it.
I love being confused and thrown a lot in different lives. I get to see the whole picture of what I can be and who I can become.
Being 20-something is fucking awesome.
I feel badass, empowered, and a good product of messed up decisions.
All I know is that I enjoy life fucking the shit out of me and me fucking life to make it the most memorable, unforgettable orgasm. Ever.