“You can’t really date someone just because it’s convenient, I guess.”
No, you can’t. Dating someone because they live down the hall is not a good idea, especially if you wish to remain friends and are forced to share a bathroom for the next nine months.
These words, or similar ones, tend to be the ones we as women remember. A man can compliment us, have a wonderful conversation with us, win us over repeatedly with their charm, but when it’s all over we remember that which hurt us most. Those small sentences become ammo for the nasty side of you that lowers your opinion of yourself when it is dark and you’re alone. It’s a sick reality with which many people struggle.
So when you’re alone and the voices get loud, read this:
You are alive. That in and of itself is pretty remarkable. Think of the number of things that need to happen inside your miracle of a body to simply function. You’re breathing, thinking, feeling, remembering. Please don’t take these things for granted.
You make a difference. One nice thing a friend told me (that I actually remember!) is, “they say it’s the people around you who make up who you are, so thank you for being a part of me.” Whether you believe it or not, interacting with another human makes an impact. It can be making eye contact with someone while walking past them, shooting a quick smile to the person sitting next to you on the bus, saying a sincere ‘thank you’ to a barista, or wishing a cashier a good rest of their day. The smallest gesture can have a lot of influence.
You can decide to hold onto the positive and release the negative. It is so difficult, but it is possible. If you wish to dispose of the words in your head, write them down and burn them, or use them to create something positive and replace them. Their weight isn’t worth it. They do not deserve your energy or time.
You deserve to be more than convenient. Your miracle of a body, your impact on others and so much more make you who you are, and that is phenomenal. Appreciate those gifts, and someone will do the same. You are a gift to the world (corny, I know, but stick with me please!). No one should ever take pieces of you and leave the rest. You are a mish-mash of beautiful, and it is all or nothing. If you feel like making an effort for someone, they should return the favor. If they are the right person, they will.
Tell the voices to take a hike, because they don’t know what they’re talking about.