10 Signs You’re Addicted To Candy Crush
1. You make your way to the bathroom…hourly.
2. You dream in Candy Crush Land. And you don’t want to wake up.
3. You have a balance on your iTunes for the first time in your life.
4. As much as you love your significant other…
5. You find others who worship it just as much as you do. There are no words. Just understanding. Perhaps a casual nod to one another.
6. You have invested in a portable battery charger. Because YOU CAN’T RUN OUT OF BATTERY LIFE. NOT AT THIS VERY…dammit.
7. What are Angry Birds?
8. You used to get upset when people would invite you to play via Facebook. Now, you realize it’s an exquisite invitation to a fantastical land.
9. Waiting for a ‘life’, is the most excruciating 35 minutes ever experienced.
10. It’s actually crack. There’s just no evidence yet.
A | A | A
You’re not nice, honey, you’re bitter.
If you can’t afford to tip. EAT. AT. HOME. In fact don’t eat at all. Go starve and die.
“GET OFF HER HAIR, IDIOT!”
I’m not made of porcelain and I’m not going to break if you use the wrong words or reveal yourself to be a terrible person.