Who Will Win The Best Picture Oscar?
You smell that? It’s awards season! Which means the nominations for the big ‘uns, The Academy Awards, will be announced in about a month. This month will be flooded with potential nominees, squeezing in their over-acting and epic storylines. It’s the greatest month of the year, moviegoers!
Spare me the “Oscars don’t matter” pretension and let’s get to the fun stuff: guessing who’s going to be nominated and who’s going to win. I’m here to help you sweep that office Oscar pool. So have a look at the potential nominees:
Definitely getting nominated:
Lincoln: DDL has this on lock. I loved Lincoln, though I will admit it was long. Not that I couldn’t watch Day-Lewis as Lincoln all day for the rest of my natural-born life, but you know — obvious Oscar bait.
Flight: I SUPER loved this movie. I went in with almost no expectations other than that the trailer had revealed everything and I was pleasantly surprised. Denzel killed it. The casting was colorblind. Really nuanced interesting portrayal of addiction and recovery (which is kind of my jam). John Goodman was great, soundtrack was great, script was great. If you haven’t, read these interviews with the screenwriter, John Gatins who is 25 years sober and kind of weird about it.
Silver Linings Playbook: Haven’t seen this. Have been told I should because it’s about mental illness. Seems a little manic-pixie-saves-a-man for me. But it got, I think, 100 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, which is impressive. Anyone who saw it, comment in the comments section. I want to know if this was actually good.
Life of Pi: Loved it. Love Ang Lee. Loved the book, and the film was incredibly faithful to the original text. That main kid should get nominated for best actor even though he probably won’t.
Argo: I had a lot of problems with Argo. It was equal parts delightful (Bryan Cranston, “Argo f-ck yourself.”) and annoying (dark portrayals of the Middle East, weird whitewashed casting). My mom loved it, and everyone knows the Oscars love what Middle America moms and dads love so…it’ll get the nom.
Zero Dark Thirty: This’ll get nominated and it’s a dark horse to win the whole race. Haven’t seen it. Am eager to. Love that Chris Pratt has the first line in the trailer. I think the timing on this is right to maybe win the Oscar, which would be real interesting. Plus, everyone’s on Jessica Chastain’s dick right now.
It’s gonna be Lincoln. I sort of wish it’d be Flight. (Blasphemy!)
Probably getting nominated:
Les Miserables: I’ve heard some talk that it might not even get the nom, which seems strange since it’s such obvious Oscar bait. Either way, I’m seeing this at midnight dressed in appropriate period garb. Who’s with me?!
Anna Karenina: Really excited to see this as well. Also total Oscar bait. May garner Keira Knightly the nom, but some are saying Anna Karenina is gonna get snubbed.
The Master: Why is it that when something is such obvious Oscar bait, it suddenly ends up in the maybe pile? The only way this movie could have been more Gimme Dat Oscar is if it featured a woman saving a baby from the Holocaust. That being said, my boy Phillip Seymour Hoffman should get the actor nom, but I’m dubious about the movie getting recognized.
Moonrise Kingdom: Too cutesy or just cutesy enough?
Skyfall: Not the best Bond film, in my opinion. Not sure why everyone loved it so much.
The Sessions: My mom wanted to see this with me but I was like, “Uh, no thanks. Not really into seeing a hooker movie with you.” But this looks really good and I am interested in seeing the positive portrayal of sex workers. Someone see this with me soon? That isn’t my mom?
Beasts of the Southern Wild: Lost out on all the awards it was supposed to win so far, even after a year of super big hype. Not sure what’s happening here.
Django Unchained: Tarantino! This probably won’t get nominated, but I am down for Tarantino to keep re-writing history as long as he wants.
The Hobbit! I’m sorry, what?
Definitely not getting nominated:
The Avengers: Whatever. No shwarma for you, Oscars.
Pitch Perfect: The Academy hates comedy. Sorry, ladies.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II: No dice, Twi-hards.
The Guilt Trip: My parents think this looks amazing! (Get on board, Middle America.)
The Cabin In The Woods: My favorite movie of 2012. For real.
So what are your expert opinions? Who’s getting nominated? Who’s gonna win? (Seriously though, The Hobbit!)
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Well I mean first of all, it’s never a good idea to approach a hot black girl with an opening line about how much you love chocolate!