December 13, 2012

The Hottest Celebrities Old Enough To Be Your Parents

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What is the issue?

I am really bad at guessing people’s ages. If forced to, I usually just guess everyone is around my age and call it a day. Turns out this not an accurate science and my ideas of what certain ages “look like” is all screwed up by hot older people who refuse to look their age.

So maybe “looking” 40 or 50 or 60 means basically nothing now. You’re only as old as you feel, right? I saw that on a birthday card at CVS and I’m pretty sure it’s the gospel. If you’re like me, you tend to crush on older people and then be bewildered to find out just how old they are. But look, we’ve all got our issues. No judgements here.

Depending on how old you are, some of these may or may not apply, but here’s a good starter list of the hottest celebrities old enough to be your parents.

Amy Poehler (41)

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JaguarPS / Shutterstock

Queen Amy Poehler is in her 40s, guys! I guess it makes sense since she’s been doing comedy for forever, but she looks fantastic. And she’s had two kids and her body and boobs are bangin’.

Julianne Moore (52)

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JaguarPS / Shutterstock

Gorgeous, fun, and a superb actress, Julianne Moore is like a pre-programmed Insta-girlfriend. This bundle of sunshine is in her fifties? No freaking way.

Denzel Washington (57)

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FeatureFlash / Shutterstock

Denzel is 57. 57. Just let that sink in for a second and then observe the gorgeous man in the photo above. He is 57!!! Plus, he may win the Oscar for Best Actor this year for playing a sexy, self-destructive pilot. Not bad for an old man.

Colin Firth (52)

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Featureflash / Shutterstock

Remember in high school when your teacher made the class watch the BBC Pride and Prejudice and you were all, “Who is that beefcake slice of man?” That was Colin Firth. As Liz Lemon would say, his movies qualify as erotica.

Salma Hayek (43)

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Featureflash / Shutterstock

Flawless. I wish Salma Hayek was my mom so I could have even a remote chance of looking like her when I’m in my forties. Damn girl.

Liam Neeson (60)

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VIPflash / Shutterstock

Liam Neeson is old enough to be my grandfather but he’s still lookin’ good and fighting bad guys. At least you know if you’re important to him, he will use his skills to destroy the people responsible.

Lucy Liu (41)

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s_bukley / Shutterstock

Lucy Liu is killing it on Elementary, which is actually not a terrible show. I can’t believe she’s 41. Her cheekbones are stellar.

Gwen Stefani (40)

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FeatureFlash / Shutterstock

Her body is the real mind-blowing thing about Gwen Stefani. No mom in her forties should have abs like that.

Halle Berry (43)

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s_bukley / Shutterstock

Halle Berry is a gem who might never age. I honestly think she’s a time traveler or a vampire.

Paul Rudd (43)

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s_bukley / Shutterstock

His boyish looks hide the fact that Paul Rudd is in his mid-forties. What a charming goofball.

Mariska Hargitay (48)

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s_bukley / Shutterstock

Mariska Hargitay only gets hotter as she gets older. I don’t know how she does it. She’s almost fifty and yet she’s one of the hottest women on TV.

Clive Owen (48)

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vipflash / Shutterstock

Also almost fifty is Clive Owen, another super-hot British man. That’s right. Clive Owen is almost fifty. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Hugh Jackman (44)

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Featureflash / Shutterstock

His name sounds like it belongs to a porn star, but Hugh Jackman is somehow a real person. He’s constantly listed on hot celeb guy lists — and that’s only gonna get more intense when Les Miz comes out.

Rob Lowe (48)

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s_bukley / Shutterstock

Rob Lowe right now is like a wax doll of Rob Lowe from the 80s. Boy has always looked good but at nearing fifty, he’s still a total hottie. Plus, he’s hilarious on Parks and Rec.

Sofia Vergara (40)

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Joe Seer / Shutterstock

This one hurts the most. Sofia Vergara plays a mom on TV, and in real life, she’s got a teenage son. Yep. Sofia Vergara could be your mom. Oof.

George Clooney (51)

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s_bukley / Shutterstock

The ULTIMATE. George Clooney could be my grandfather and he’d still be bangable. (Ew, what.) The old silver fox isn’t getting any less adorably sexy as he ages either. Plus, his girlfriend is basically in diapers. WHY NOT ME CLOONEY?! TC Mark

image – s_bukley

Gaby Dunn

Gaby Dunn is a writer, comedian, journalist and Jesse Eisenberg enthusiast living in Los Angeles. Email her at: …

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