First off, I want you to know that I don’t hate you…like not even a little bit.
To the contrary, I kind of hope that I’ll get to meet you someday. I don’t foresee that actually happening, but it would be nice. If for no other reason than to meet the woman who is holding the heart of the woman who used to hold mine. She’s amazing isn’t she? I’m so glad she found someone to make her happy, because she deserves it. I spent a long time loving her & I learned a few things along the way…perhaps they will help you to love her well. Love her slowly.
She’s an anxious person and she’s probably spending every waking moment overthinking about the things you say to her. She’s been broken before, so she’s learned to think twice about everything. Don’t take her silence or lack of telling you how much you mean to her as her not caring. She cares, she just does so without using words. Look for the little ways that she tells you what she’s feeling. Every morning she will text you some combination of “good morning beautiful, Good morning babe,” or some other sweet sentiment.
You’ll find yourself looking forward to waking up the next day, not because of what you have to do, but because it’s another day that you get to wake up to a text from her. Let yourself giggle like a school girl every time. You’ll regret it someday if you don’t. Please, please do your best to make her smile, you’ll thank me later, or maybe you won’t but when I tell you that her smile will brighten even your darkest days, I swear I didn’t just quote that from the inside of a Hallmark card. I hope you cherish every second you spend with her.
I pray that you’ll never forgo the opportunity to tell her how much she means to you.
She doesn’t like to be called cute. So even when she says things that are “cute” make sure you use a different word or else you can prepare for a tongue lashing! One that same note, she’s a little bit passive aggressive. She’ll tell you that she’s not being passive because she says what she wants straight to your face, but one in the same, she’ll Tumblr about it, don’t be mad…it’s charming.
Some days she’ll want space. She’ll need to sit alone in her thoughts and she probably won’t tell you what she’s thinking…at least not until she’s thought it all the way through. She’s careful with her words so she might spend weeks thinking about something before she’ll ever decide to say anything about it. You’ll learn to both love and hate that.
You have an advantage that I didn’t have. unlike me, you live near her. When she gets depressed (read: love her extra on nights that she’s drinking i.e: Wine Wednesdays) just hold her. Tell her that you love her and let her rest her head on your shoulder. Don’t try to make her talk about it, because chances are, she’s fine and it really just is a thing that happens from time to time. Don’t think you have to do anything or say anything, believe me, she’ll appreciate you just being there.
She’s going to ask you about your day. At least once every single day. Please don’t take that for granted. She cares. She isn’t asking out of routine, but because she really genuinely wants to know how you are. So tell her, and be honest about it. She’s pretty good at detecting when you need your space, so she won’t call you out to hard if you tell her that you’re “fine” but she will remind you that you can talk to her if you need her. If she sends you the link to a song or a video, listen to it.
I don’t mean simply hear it, I mean sincerely listen to it. Take in the words and the melody, understand that for whatever reason, in that moment, these lyrics are the best way she knows to communicate with you. She loves her dog. Yes, I know, everyone loves their pets, but she really REALLY loves her dog. Learn to love him. He is an extension of her, they’re a package deal. Lastly, don’t take a moment you have with her for granted.
When you find out that she cares about you, I swear you’ll feel like your body defies gravity. You’ll be on cloud nine and nothing will be able to bring you down. However, the day she decides to give up on you, I promise you, it will feel like your heart became the very center of gravity. Love her. Cherish and respect her. Be her friend and her companion. She is a beautiful mess of emotions, but if you’re lucky enough to be her muse, please I implore you, be smart enough to recognize what a gift that is.
Good luck, I hope you enjoy the journey as much as I did.