What I Didn’t Tell You

What I didn’t tell you is that I’ve written about you before. I’ll never show it to you but I hope you one day stumble upon my words.

What I didn’t tell you is that I really didn’t want it to end. What I didn’t tell you is that I hoped you would try to stop me. What I didn’t tell you is that I always hoped we would make it. I imagined what it would be like to be yours and you to be mine. I day dreamed about walking down the street holding your hand and what it would be like to one day hear you say that you loved me. What I didn’t tell you is that I wished you would have come to my door and tell me you had made a mistake.

What I didn’t tell you is that I thought you wearing glasses was the sexiest thing ever. Your geekiness gave me butterflies. What I didn’t tell you is that I wished you noticed the little things about me, the same way I noticed the little things about you.

What I didn’t tell you is that he doesn’t make me feel like you did, and I can’t stop thinking about you when I’m kissing him. But I know I deserve better than what you could give me.

What I didn’t tell you is that your excuses are lame. You’re scared. I’ve always been scared too. I wish we could have taken a leap of faith together, just given it a shot. They say the only things you should regret are the ones you didn’t do. I guess we’ll never know how it could have been for me and you.

What I didn’t tell you is that I would really want to hate you, forget about you, pretend it all never happened. But I can’t and I won’t. What I didn’t tell you is that part of me wants to believe you’ll come around some day, you’ll feel the same the things I have been feeling. What I didn’t tell you is that I lied, I don’t want us to be friends. It didn’t work the last time.

What I didn’t tell you is that I hate myself for hurting you that one time. If I could take it back I would. Though you hurt me even more than you can imagine. What I didn’t tell you is that I shouldn’t have read those words. I went looking around for something and boy did I find it.

What I didn’t tell you is that I can’t stop thinking about our last night together. I wished there would have been more like that. The last time I was yours you made me feel alive, you made me feel like this might have been real. What I didn’t tell you is that you’re the first I’ve ever felt really comfortable with. What I didn’t tell you is that I loved falling asleep in your arms, and despite your terrible snoring, there was no place I would have rather been than in bed with you.

What I didn’t tell you is that I want to say all of these things to your face. But I never will.