Aesop’s Post-Breakup Fables

One day as the fox was chitchatting with her people, a horrible lamb traipsed into her line of vision and gave what he must have thought was a sexy grin, but which came off as more like the insincere rictus of a narcissist.

OhBit: The Contrarian

The Contrarian, an asshole who liked to disagree with people for no other reason than it gave him something to do, even from beyond the grave, passed away Tuesday morning…

SpongeRob CubeJeans

SpongeRob CubeJeans an undeniably cut-rate SpongeBob SquarePants knockoff that was foisted upon a blanching public died Tuesday after an intellectual theft lawsuit filed by Nickelodeon.

OhBit: The War On Doritos

In 1964, when they first hit the streets to little fanfare, Doritos were seen as little more than a nuisance, a relatively benign way for people to get a harmless hit of flavor.

OhBit: That Goldfish From The Fair

Let me break this down for you: just because some carny scumbag hands you a plastic bag with a fish in it at a fair does not mean that you have to accept it.