Thought Catalog
June 13, 2017

Stop Running From Relationships Because You Are ‘Not Ready For Love’

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What is the issue?
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/ Tanja Heffner

During countless occasions, when single people are asked why they’re not dating someone, they reply with, “I’m not yet ready.”

This is not new. We have all met people who swerved commitment using this trite excuse.

To be fair, this excuse is pretty logical for people — especially for men and women in their 20s as we are totally gripped and ironed out to meet the expectations of our family and of society.

We have stressful demands to fulfill — bills, post-Bachelor degrees, our parents’ medication, our younger siblings’ school tuition, work deadlines, insurance, bank savings — the list is endless. And the mental instability of only being a 20-something-year-old facing such predicaments delays the realization of all these.

As children of the new millennium, we know what it’s like to have a tight hold on things, so we want to work hard on redirecting the course of our life for our own sake and for that of our family.

Hence, it is reasonable why a handful of people would dodge a romantic relationship for the time being as we acknowledge that we have priorities to fulfill and dreams to achieve.

However, we who overvalue our dreams tend to get so occupied with the applicative demands of life that we sometimes don’t realize that we have missed the chance to be with someone who might actually help us in achieving the stipulations of our own kind of success.

We push people away in fear of not being able to give our potential partner and ourselves the satisfaction that we need in the relationship as we find in hindsight our mental and financial unpreparedness to be hindrances of the relationship’s fulfillment.

But what if we will never be prepared on our own? What if the universe has designed the kind of completeness that we seek in ourselves to be attained with another person?

We judge our readiness to engage in a romantic relationship based on the achievement of the goals that we have set for ourselves.

But what if some of these goals are not meant to chased alone, but are to be ran after with someone?

Love, they say, can wait.

Is there any objectivity behind this claim? Is there an absolute proof to support this statement?

“If it can’t wait, then it’s not love.”

What if we have just been using the correlation between “patience” and “true love” as a pathetic excuse for our inability to see and appreciate love when it’s actually around?

I think… we might not have to ready ourselves for love all the time. Once the suppression already heaves our breathing and swells our eyes from the sleeplessness and we feel that it’s about time that we just let the feelings indulge and run loose, LOVE, itself, will ready us.

We have demoted love. We have let our physical needs overpower our human needs. We have learned to dismiss our affection in exchange of practical assurance.

We have forgotten that love, if it is of pure intention and is positive, can inspire us and can lead us to great, great things. TC mark

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