Fitz on Pretty Little Liars vs. Fitz on Scandal
Two shows I love watching are Pretty Little Liars and Scandal. Both of these shows have mystery, sex appeal, intrigue, etc. They both also have characters who go by Fitz. Let’s find out how similar they are!
NAME: Ezra Fitz (formerly Fitzgerald)
AGE: 25, I guess?
LOCATION: Rosewood, PA
RELATIONSHIP: Dating a former student, Aria Montgomery, not yet 18, though I guess they broke up, I mean, who knows.
OCCUPATION: HS English Teacher then college teacher, I guess? Now unemployed but going to sub back at Rosewood High even though he famously was dating a student there.
BIG SCANDAL: I mean, being an adult teacher and dating his student, though hot, is “inappropriate” and a big scandal for her parents who have both been his colleagues.
BIG LIE: He got his high school girlfriend, Maggie (aka Larisa Oleynik!), pregnant, his mom paid her off to get an abortion, surprise, she didn’t! And now he has a son, Malcolm!
HANDSOMENESS LEVEL: Probably like, a 7 out of 10
HOTNESS LEVEL: Directly proportional to what job he’s currently holding and how many secret kids he has…so currently in the series, he’s at about a 4
PRESTIGE: We’re supposed to believe he’s a great English teacher but I find that more believebale in Never Been Kissed than here so who knows. Teachers seem to like him as long as they aren’t his teenaged girlfriends parents.
GOOD QUOTE: “We’re crazy, you know that right?” – Ezra to Aria
OVERALL SCORE: 6 / 10
You’d have to deal with his unsure job security, his young son, his ex-girlfriend/baby momma, his crazy mom who WILL try to pay you off. I mean, Aria totally should have taken the money…but he still looks cute dressed for school in his ties. Touch call.
NAME: Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III
AGE: I guess at least 35…well, he’s gotta be like, 50, right?
LOCATION: Washington, D.C.
RELATIONSHIP: Married to Mellie (don’t marry anyone named Millicent, dudes) but in love with Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington).
OCCUPATION: Oh, you know, President of the United States
BIG SCANDAL: I think everything involving him is a scandal. He’s been having an affair with Olivia for a long time. Millie knows about it. But like, don’t worry, she’s super conniving so it’s fine. But he’s no longer seeing Olivia because of all these other Olivia Scandals he just found out about. Sigh.
BIG LIE: Everything that’s a scandal for Fitz is also a lie. Also, now he’s drinking all the time. Whoops.
HANDSOMENESS LEVEL: 8/9 out of 10 depending on his proximity to Olivia Pope in the scene.
HOTNESS LEVEL: Ditto Handsomeness Level except that it’s 11 out of 10 when he and Olivia are having sex/engaging in any sort of tryst. Those two crazy kids have GOT to figure it out.
PRESTIGE: He’s the President.
GOOD QUOTE: “Does it ever bother you? All the lies? All the pretending? And that’s not an accusation, cause I do it too and do it well. It’s just a question. Because it’s gotten so easy. I don’t know anymore.” – Fitz to wife Mellie (this isn’t like, hot, it just kills me.)
OVERALL SCORE: I mean, he’s POTUS, he’s smart, he’s handsome, he’s super sexy. He’s an 8/10 always.
I think Fitzgerald Grant takes it here, folks.
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If you’ve been looking for a chance to say something then this very well could be it.
I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”