I bought myself a bouquet of flowers. No, I didn’t pity or feel bad about myself. On the contrary, I felt empowered that I can do something for myself that I love without relying on another person to do it for me. Sure, it would have been nice to have had a bouquet of flowers given to me by a guy that likes me which society norm dictates how the usual exchange of flowers to happen.

To me, this is an example of what a strong, independent, and confident woman looks like. Someone who has the grace in herself to do something no matter how small or big that is completely on her own without the reliance in another. It is to be able to know oneself well enough and what one needs and wants and go for it with no doubt.

However, I have a quarrel when people say that a strong and independent woman does not need to be in a relationship as if being in one makes you any less strong and independent. Why do we relate strength, confidence, and independence to singlehood? Is it to make ourselves less lonely because we are not committed to someone? And why is a woman who is in a relationship seen as clingy and too emotional? Why do we relate relationship status to these qualities of a woman?

When in fact, it has nothing to do with it. It is the actions and choices we do in our daily lives that determines it.

A strong, confident and independent woman is one who can splash their personality all over their apartment with no fear that their friends will think that it’s too pink or too minimal or you might have an obsession disorder with Colin Firth when you have them over for dinner.

A strong, confident and independent woman is one who passionately loves their job and excels in it. A strong, confident and independent woman is one who can be in a big dinner party and take the experience as a learning one and an opportunity to build and grow her social network.

A strong, confident and independent woman is one who can speak her mind and is not afraid when faced with opposing view or opinion. A strong, confident and independent woman is one who can sing at the top of her voice on a karaoke night with friends or laugh and smile her widest when she’s happy.

A strong, confident and independent woman is one who explores and challenges herself everyday by not staying inside her comfort zone.

A strong, confident and independent woman is one who can do all these whether they are single or in a relationship.