Thought Catalog
May 5, 2017

12 Ways You’re Going To Lose The Girl With An Old Soul

Report This Article
What is the issue?
Franca Gimenez

1. You’re going to lose her by getting stuck in small talk when she is aching to go deeper. There’s a general rule that you’re not supposed to talk about politics and religion on dates, but the only thing an old soul wants to hear from you are the ways you interact with these meaty topics. Show that you are a thoughtful person who can approach divisive (but endlessly interesting) topics with an open-mind and a curious heart.

2. You’re going to lose her by refusing to open up. Sometimes you open up to the wrong people and you get hurt, this is a fact of life. But old souls can only be interested in someone willing to take this leap of faith again and again. Vulnerability is where the magic happens, where people become human and grow and become the kind of people you can fall in love with. They need to see that you are willing to do this.

3. You’re going to lose her by assuming you can impress her with material wealth. You might think you impress her by telling her how much money you make or what kind of expensive possessions you own, but she wants to hear about the experiences that have changed your life and the books that have molded you into the person you are today. She wants to see that what you value most are ideas or people or memories — not things.

4. You’re going to lose her by being wishy washy. Old souls know who they are. They’ve done a lot of work reflecting on themselves and growing into the person they want to be. They want to be with someone who has a similarly strong sense of self.

5. You’re going to lose her by being afraid of your emotions. Old souls are primarily meaning-driven. They live for the romance and intimacy. If you don’t desire a deep connection with someone, you’re not going to be able to keep up with her.

6. You’re going to lose her by telling her she thinks too much. It’s true that old souls tend to experience anxiety or at least overthinking, but it’s also true that this isn’t something you can will away. Telling her to ‘relax’ or ‘stop thinking about it’ is only going to push her away. These kind of comments show her that you aren’t willing to understand what’s really going on in her head — a mortal sin for an old soul.

7. You’re going to lose her by playing games.
Old souls aren’t trying to prove that they’re “the one who cares less”, they are trying to love and be loved. They have little patience for modern dating and the mind games that come along with it. If you’re not ready to be real, you’re not ready for her.

8. You’re going to lose her by smothering her. Old souls tend to be independent people who need their own time to decompress and explore their interests. They’ll be a loving partner, but they won’t be the girl who depends on you to fill 24 hours of her day up with interaction. That’s exactly the kind of thing that will make her run.

9. You’re going to lose her by moving too fast. As their independence is a prized possession, old souls are weary of anyone who is willing to give theirs up too quickly. You should be open to moving forward at a steady pace, but one that always prioritizes the life that you’ve built and whether this person you’re courting might be a welcome addition (not an “instead”).

10. You’re going to lose her by not wanting to talk about it. Old souls don’t want to sweep issues under the rug. When there is any kind of conflict, they want to sit down and talk about it until they understand what is happening between the two of you and how it can be fixed moving forward.

11. You’re going to lose her by thinking she’s “too intense”. We’re used to multi-tasking and pretending to be aloof in order to be cool. Old souls aren’t into this, when we feel things, we feel them fully. We want to do one thing at a time and someone paying complete attention to you can seem like a lot when you’re not used to it. Remember that for hundreds of years, this is what normal communication was like.

12. You’re going to lose her by not being the one. Old souls don’t have impossible standards, but they do demand something that feels like a soulmate connection. They want a true partner who communicates openly and shares their curious nature. They need a deep connection that feels meaningful, something that will endure decades. Something that is real. TC mark