40 Of The Most Offensive Sounds In The Entire World

1. A baby scream-crying on a plane.

2. Motorcycles.

3. Automated answering systems.

4. A fake laugh.

5. God love her, but Diane Rehm’s voice.

6. Inappropriately loud gum chewers who smackity-smack-smack.

7. Car alarms, but really only in the morning before you’ve awoken or in the deepest middle of the night, like 3 a.m.

8. Loud groups of cackling girls at restaurants (unless it’s you and your friends).

9. That noise boys make before they hock a loogie.

10. The voice of the most basic bitch you know.

11. Lawn guys before 9 a.m.

12. Incredibly wet coughs.

13. Smoke detectors with low batteries.

14. Your dog’s bark when you’re on an important phone call or entertaining a group of guests.

15. Teeth scraping forks.

16. Fingernails on chalkboards (but also, are chalkboards even a thing anymore?).

17. Super high-pitched children screams when you’re not in the mood.

18. Some people’s orgasms.

19. A loud belch at an inappropriate time.

20. The sound yogurt makes when you stir it around. Goo.

21. Sometimes, vaginas.

22. Any name besides yours being called out to be seated at a restaurant.

23. Your alarm clock.

24. Your second alarm clock.

25. Your third alarm clock.

26. Heavy, open-mouth breathing you can smell and hear.

27. Metal chairs being dragged across floors. Same with metal tables. JUST PICK THE DAMN THING UP.

28. Someone walking who doesn’t understand the concept of picking up their feet. ::shuffleshuffleshuffle::

29. A dude with an outrageously high-pitched laugh.

30. The “La la la’s” during every scene change in “Gilmore Girls.”

31. Your neighbors bumping uglies. Loudly and aggressively.

32. The dial-up tone of a fax machine. Ew.

33. The consumption of most potato chips.

34. Other peoples’ kissing. All the slurping and sucking. It’s fine when it’s you, but being an outsider – NOPE.

35. Ice cream is great, this is a fact. But smacking your lips together with every bite is not great. It’s terrible.

36. Someone else’s phone buzzing when you’ve been waiting for a text all night.

37. The robot voice of all self-service checkout counters. “Welcome, valued customer!” “Please place the item in the bagging area.” “Please remove your bags and take your receipt.”

38. Your relentless seatbelt alarm when you’re just re-adjusting your terrible parking job.

39. The store alarms going off as you walk out, drawing unnecessary attention to your purchase of condoms, tampons, white cheddar popcorn, and a mop.

40. Modern-day country music.