November 22, 2016

A Letter To My 8-Year-Old Self

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Julia Caesar
Julia Caesar

Dear eight-year old self, I should tell you a few things. First of all, I know the world right now is a scary place. You have no idea what’s going on, and it feels like everything around is you is moving so fast, don’t worry that feeling is going to go away as you get older, or you get used to it I guess.

Secondly, you’re beautiful. I know, you don’t see that in yourself right now. But trust me, you need to hear that because it’s easier to love yourself now than to grow into hating what you see. That dirty blonde hair of yours will never become less reckless; it will still sit unevenly and frizz at the worst of times, your eyes will only turn the brightest of greens when you’re upset and stay boringly neutral at all other times, and your skin will always be pale. But that’s what makes you that special kind of beautiful, and you’ll learn you can’t change these things.

You’re so smart. Stop letting people tell you otherwise, your grades don’t mean a lot right now. You’re doing what you can, you’re surviving, and it’s okay. Just do the best you can, you’re going to kill it when you get to college.

You’ll actually surprise yourself to be honest, and you’ll prove a few people wrong.

Stay quiet, do what makes you comfortable, don’t try so hard to fit in, you aren’t meant to. The kids around you won’t be relevant when you grow up anyways. The fact that you’re so quiet will come to your advantage in the future, you’ll be able to observe more and see and understand things at a deeper level.

You’re loved. You are so loved by your family, and I know it doesn’t seem like it, but please know that.

Your sisters will become your lifeline, and they’ll need you as much as you need them. And when you get older, someone is going fall in love with you. Let them, and don’t push them away because you’re afraid, or because everyone always leaves. He’s not going anywhere, and he loves all the things you probably hate about yourself. He’s going to try and change the way you see things around you, please let him in. People that care about you will be so happy to see you open up to someone finally.

Finally, don’t beat yourself up for feeling emotions. The world is going to try and do that to you enough as it is. Don’t let them take that sweetness away from you, don’t let anyone make you feel like less of a person for crying too much or speaking openly about what hurt you. Chances are, you’re going to be one of the very few brave people that actually talks about it. Everyone else will be too busy pretending they’re fine, or trying to act tough.

Be yourself, and I promise there will be a few people who understand it.

You are wonderful, and you’re going to be fine. The world is going to fall out from under you more than a couple of times, you will find your footing. You are strong and you are courageous. You will endure, and you will become an amazing young woman. Don’t settle for anything less, and never lose your wonder because it will take you on some great adventures where you’ll learn more about yourself along the way. TC mark

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