12 Signs That You’re Dating A Man-Child

1. He never makes cute gestures or performs simple acts of kindness.

The man-child isn’t able to pick up on your little hints about what would make you happy. Being nice is too much work for him. Let’s say you’ve gone on about your crappy day and you hint that you love that pumpkin-spice coffee is available again. Because he is unable to think or feel outside himself, he will NOT pick you up a cup, no matter how many hints you’ve dropped. He will, however, be thinking about what you can do for him upon his arrival.

2. He has no empathy.

The man-child is quick to judge. He is unable to see an issue as more than black and white, hot or cold. Maybe you and he are watching the news and a hot-button issue is presented; you may notice that he is quick to draw conclusions without knowing all the details. He lacks compassion, and that DOES matter when you date someone.

3. He is a bad conversationalist.

When you’re dating a man-child he is either thinking, “What can I say next?” or “OK, how can I sound cool?” He actively ignores you while thinking about what’s going to come out of his mouth next.

4. He never suggests fun date ideas; it’s all you.

Do you always have to plan the date? If the answer is yes, perhaps this selfish individual is too wrapped up in his head that he can’t even fathom that maybe your interests are important. Does he insist on ordering wings and watching football when you expressed how you’d love to try something livelier on a Sunday night? The man-child is so wrapped up in his own world that he forgets to consider you.

5. His relationships with friends aren’t very successful.

If you can pick up on his negative traits, his friends can, too. He likely flakes on plans or hangs with friends on his terms. If one of these friends wants to stray from his plan, he will get weird or angry. If he argues with one of his buds, forget helping him by playing devil’s advocate. It’s his way or the highway. The highway is better.

6. He’s bad at sex.

He is self-centered out of bed, so he is also self-centered in bed. The man-child wants nothing more than to get himself off. When he is finished, you’re finished. It’s a sad and very short story.

7. He suffers from only-child syndrome.

If he wasn’t an only child, he sure acts like one. He did not grow up having to share, and once he hit kindergarten he was so used to getting his way that he was unable to learn the art of sharing. As he matured he didn’t learn these basic skills. He likely fell through the cracks. He usually reacts poorly when you disagree with what he believes.

8. He has no goals.

He isn’t easily motivated. If he finally accomplishes something it’s because he was probably pestered endlessly to do so. For example, he only completed college because his parents forced him. If he finishes a task, big or small—usually small—it is so whoever was pestering him is no longer “bothering” him. Don’t let his laziness frustrate you; find a goddamn CEO.

9. He is paranoid.

He is under the illusion that someone’s negative opinionated tweet is a subtweet coming at him. If someone doesn’t like his Instagram photo, they did it to “send a message.” Trapped in his bubble, he has a twisted way of making everything about him.

10. He always has an excuse.

Showing up late or not meeting a deadline is never his fault. He keeps you waiting for some ridiculous reason that makes little to no sense. He often misses deadlines because he was waiting for someone else to help him. The man-child isn’t capable of taking initiative, so he misses out on a lot.

11. He acts helpless.

He’ll call you into a room simply to grab him the remote that was out of reach. He plays dumb to get out of things.

12. He pretends he’s settling for less, when the opposite is true.

The man-child will always take the easy way out, and that is never what anyone deserves in a lover. He may believe he is settling for you, but the reality is that you are settling for him.