My Phone Is My Boyfriend

I have a virtual boyfriend.

Imagine you have been single for ages and finally meet an amazing guy. He treats you right and you always have so much fun together and he loves to cuddle.

Then, just when you start to really feel something real for this guy, you find out your lives are going different directions. Neither of you have any work in this city anymore; you both need to move home.

This was the situation for me earlier this year. I was living and working in Paris and dating this amazing German who held my hand just the right way and whose shoulder was the exact right height for my head.

As someone who has lived abroad before and dated foreigners, I was used to this situation. You break up before you get too attached because you know it’ll just hurt more. You had your fun, but you know it was partly the experience, the surroundings that made you fall in love, not the guy.

Except for once, this guy wasn’t just fun. He was it. I mean maybe not, like, it it, but he was definitely not just a fling. He was real boyfriend material.

We spent every last minute together before leaving. Then came the fateful goodbye. It was like a break up, but without the anger, only the sadness.

Except its not really goodbye because its 2014 and you have whatsapp and Skype and Viber. So you are apart and are for all intents and purposes not together, but your feelings haven’t changed, so you take advantage of social media and it feels like they’re still around — like this was all a bad dream and you actually do finally have a boyfriend.

But you don’t. He lives 4000 miles away and you have no idea when you will see him next. And you are emotionally unavailable and lonely and sleep with your phone on your bed every night.

You are basically dating your phone. Congratulations.