Love Should Be Effortless
By Ellen Nguyen
When it comes to love, you don’t have to try. Yes, you should try to be kind, polite, considerate, to be a better person, like you always should anyway, but you don’t have to try to be someone you essentially are not. Opinions are subjective; preferences are variable.
What if they don’t find you funny. What if they don’t like the way you hum when you cook. What if they don’t think your smile is a beautiful one. It’s not your fault and certainly not your problem. People are different and we all love different things. It’s fair, it’s understandable and it’s absolutely okay because you have been there too.
So, when you find yourself going out of your way to prove to someone you’re worth it, remember why you adore them, appreciate them, or even love them in the first place. Ask yourself why you even need their attention, their approval, their appreciation. Question again what they have done to earn your love. And if that love demands from them any proof of self-worthiness for you to love them.
They didn’t have to do anything, prove anything, you just love because that’s the way humans love. We meet, we take interest, we love, just naturally. We love for who the other person is as an individual. The core values, the fundamental traits. And that’s the love you should look for. That’s the way it should be for you too.
Why does it have to be so hard?
Be yourself and learn to love yourself like you have loved others. Believe that you will be loved the exact same way you give your love away even though you don’t know it yet. When you notice a brightening smile that could instantly make your day better, someone somewhere might still be thinking about the way you casually play with your hair while reading your favorite book.
When you appreciate that a person holds the door for you, walks you home, lends you his arm when you stumble on your high heels, someone somewhere might be smitten with the way you always attentively listen to their stories, laugh at their jokes or the small things like how much you hate blueberries because they hate it too. Be sure about all that because you’re worthy of interest. You love because you want to share love, not because you need to be loved back by anyone for any reason.
Perhaps, when it comes to love, the only thing you should try is taking a risk. Be brave, go out there, make something amazing happen. Or you will never know.