19 Little Signs You’re Turning Into Your Mother
By Ella Ceron
1. You begin to buy your pasta sauce or other jarred goods while factoring in how versatile the jar will be when you reuse it. (Because, really, it’s like getting a mason jar for free!)
2. You routinely find yourself stumped by new technology, and feel awfully put out when you see a 3 year-old deftly using it better than you in public.
3. You’re more apt to pick up a cooking magazine rather than a fashion magazine — and you’ve begun to dog-ear the recipes you will actually attempt to make.
4. You’ve begun to consider pop radio to be an ambient background sound – moms are A+ at tuning out what their kids are listening to — only to actually listen every once in a while and realize, wait, what did they just say?!
5. You have referred to another fully grown adult as being “yummy.”
6. Your first instinct on helping someone feel better about anything from a cold to heartbreak to the stress of moving is to feed them.
7. Sometimes, you think to yourself, “enough with the emoji, can we just use words?”
8. You have taken, or are considering taking, a Zumba or aqua-robics class.
9. You know the person who reminds everyone to wear sunscreen? Yeah, that’s now you. (But seriously. Wear it.)
10. You’ve begun to spout unsolicited advice when you so much as overhear that someone is sick (whether your own personal remedy is holistic and involves a ton of cayenne pepper, or just telling someone to drug themselves on NyQuil and sleep for eight days.)
11. You see the appeal in “fun” Facebook groups and the memes you can glean from them.
12. You #nostalgiabrag about how you USED to be so wild and crazy when you were “younger” — even if that was like, four years ago.
13. And now vicariously live through friends who aren’t that much younger than you but still…
14. You’ve realized there are people you don’t like because of a tiny, nothing incident that happened years ago.
15. When you see a guy acting like an idiot, you’ve gone from saying, “If that was my boyfriend, I would kill him,” to “His mother must be so disappointed in him.”
16. You’ve taken a casual interest in what your neighbors are up to, and have given each very odd nicknames in order to keep them straight in your head.
17. You’ve started accidentally pronouncing celebrities’ names wrong, and more often than not identify them by saying, “that one guy in that movie, you know, we saw it together a few months ago…?” No?
18. Sensible, timeless, staple clothes off the sale rack are your JAM.
19. And you’re equal parts defensive about the fact that you see so much of your mother in yourself — because you love her, but ugh, mom, gross, stop — and proud, because if you’re going to grow up to resemble anyone, it might as well be the woman who loved you, changed your diaper, and helped you get to where you are today.