I am still always thinking about you. It’s funny that despite the countless times you made me feel I wasn’t worth it, I could never be good enough, and everything was my fault, I can only remember the good stuffs. Come to think of it, this is the case, since right from this very moment, I am still hoping that “maybe” before we get into 2017, you would say sorry, and God forbid, I know I would forgive you in a heartbeat, and you could finally sweep me off my feet.
I can vividly remember that time when I was nuzzling my nose to your neck, and how I felt assurance, when in fact there was none. You caressed my cheek, and after that, you gracefully moved your hand to my hip. Your other hand, holding my arm as you move me closer than possible to your chest. I swore, I heard your heart beating my name, but thinking about it now, I know I was delusional. You made me believe that there was a possibility of “us”, when right from the start you perfectly knew there wasn’t.
As I think about tomorrow, January 1, 2017, I know I had to make a promise to myself. I know I had to do myself a favor for me to be finally happy, for me to have a good year. I know I had to be cliché, and set a New Year Resolution, and it is clear that my New Year Resolution is to forget you.
In order for me to forget you, I have to open my eyes to everything I had to go through for you. I have to embrace the fact that you made my worth, subordinate. I have to remember the very moment when out of nowhere, you just blocked all our contacts, and I had to beg you to make me understand what I did wrong. For you to give “us” another try, another chance. I said sorry despite the fact that I haven’t done anything wrong. I wasn’t even worthy of a response that time, you just simply went on of your life. You kissed and flirted with other girls. You made me feel like I wasn’t even worth moving on from. You made me feel that I was a scratch paper that after you use it, you just throw it in the trash, without looking back.
Looking back why 2016 wasn’t all that great for me was because; I gave you a big part of it. As I welcome 2017 in a few seconds, I know I have moved on because I have finally encased in the possibility that we are not destined for each other. With that, I know I’m going to be happier, I know I’m going to stumble upon someone better.