September 9, 2016

All The Reasons I Want To Stay With You

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Manik Rathee
Manik Rathee

Your eyes.

In your pictures, your eyes captivate me every time. Regardless of what you wear, who’s with you, or wherever you are at that particular moment, your eyes shine brighter than everyone and anything else. There’s a distinct color in them that makes me insane. I love what your eyes say about your soul. I feel lost in heaven whenever I stare in your eyes. Sometimes I’m scared to look into them, perhaps when I do, my whole world will stop for a while.

Your stories.

I don’t like the idea of spending time on libraries, but when I met you, I started to love reading books, your story in particular. Through your tweets, statuses and random blogs I discovered your life. It made the door slightly open, just enough for my life to sneak in. Enough for me to see some light coming from yours. I love how fate writes on every page and chapter of your book. How it adds character that you thought would last for a lifetime, and put you in a situation that you’ve never been before. I love how those people break your walls, come and go, leaving some pages creased and made some of your writing careless and out of the lines. I want to stay in the library for hours, just to read some more chapters, hoping I’d read some lines that will introduce me to the part where I can have a page or two. If that happens, I’ll make sure it will be colorful and worth reading.

Your pain.

I love how you cry randomly at night because you miss someone from your past. I love how you keep all those unsaid feelings and tears on your pillows and wake up the next day like nothing had happened. I love how you wrap your arms around your blanket, wishing for him to be there for you to keep you warm, but in the back of your mind you know that it’s impossible. Because he already left you. I love how you battle on those everyday struggles, pretending that you’re completely okay, but the actions you portray shows that you’re still suffering from your past. I want to be the antidote that will heal your wounds.

Time will heal you, but I want to stay because I want to be on every second on your healing process. Even if I’ll be at a distance. I want to see how your soul will heal from the breakup, grow and become a better one. A new one. I just want to see how you will surpass the darkest storm in your life.

Your lies.

The way you say “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” to everyone around you for them not to worry. Even though it’s obvious that you are just pretending, but you keep on lying. You always hold your pain behind those eyes; you cover them with temporary happiness and lies. You never smile the way you used to do before. It feels like all that positive energy was exhausted, all those reasons why you should be genuinely happy were crumpled and burnt into ashes. I know you are doing this for them not to worry about you, but in everyone’s eyes, you are a broken star trying to revive its light from the edge of falling apart. You push everyone away because you don’t want to let people see you in your worst form and your aching soul. Lies covering your body as if it’s a repellent to everyone’s touch. I want to stay and hug you so tight to the point your soul will die and resurrect without those burdens behind your back. I want to be the reason why you will never lie to yourself again.

Your world.

I notice you for being a wallflower, for being a different from them. Everything worked differently with you, from the way you wear your favorite dress to the genre of music you love to listen to. Your difference from everyone made me attracted to you like how a matter falls into a black hole. I cannot escape you. I don’t want to escape. I don’t know what lies on the other side of the horizon, but I’d love to explore. I don’t care if it will be a portal to the other universe. I’d find my way back into your world. I would.

I’m interested. Your difference creates a home in my mind, hear me out. I want to stay because I want to water all those dying flowers around you; I know they are still alive. I want to revive them, watch them bloom and bring back the happiness within you and make you feel like you’re a child all over again. I want to stay because I want to cleanse the air that you breathe because you breathe too much sadness and pain. Let me fill your lungs with new songs that you’ll never get tired of singing and dancing with. I want to stay because you are my home. I want to stay and fill your gray-scaled world with colors you haven’t seen before. Let me wrap you in my arms, let me stay in this world of yours. TC mark

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