Make Your Own Rules

So you may ask why an otherwise “rule abiding” citizen would suddenly urge you to make your own rules? Well I give you a comparatively brief synopsis. Comparatively, because I will only share the absolute most important elements that is only a fraction of my life message (huh I know you just had a big sigh of relief… I feel you).

So, here it is!

We spend the majority of our lives adopting ourselves to a world where it seems that always somebody else sets the rules. Until one day we wake up and say it is ……(put whatever you want to put there) ENOUGH!

But on that infamous day we knew that this realization didn’t just happen! We knew that there were signs, however, we didn’t listen. As we grow older, not necessarily always wiser unfortunately, we have been sent “messages” in ample forms. Message from a lost job, from a failed marriage, from a lost friendship, from sleepless nights, from recurring dreams, from lost competitions or championships….BUT we didn’t listen.

Well dear readers: START LISTENING! The older we get the stronger the messages will be. First it is just a little breeze humming in your ears causing you to be a bit more tired then usual, then something gently knocks on your shoulders in the form of an acute tight pain, then you experience daily headaches or anxiety, which is followed by feeling drained every day dreading Mondays beyond all. And some day it will come at you with a hammer in the form of a serious illness, divorce papers or a heartbreaking bankruptcy. My message is simple: Wake up before the …. hits the fan! Wake up now and take a look what is keeping you up at night, what is missing in your life? And ask the ultimate question!

WHOSE RULES ARE YOU FOLLOWING?

The way I see it you have three options at such point. Yes you ALWAYS have options, as you are the lucky human that was given the gift of reasoning and choice.

Option 1:

You can stay in your situation and accept the rules and the conditions. But then please, please stop complaining about it! Not only it is useless but also every time you complain you are sending significant negative energy to your body that will do exactly what you commanded it to do. IT WILL BRING YOU DOWN LIKE A HAMMER! Just for one day see how different it feels in your body when you complain as opposed to when you say “I love you” or “I love it” or…What does it feel when you say “I hate my ……” or that “I love my….” or if that is a stretch at least “I accept my ….for now and find the best in my ….. for the time being”? Basically have you ever noticed the difference your body feels when you are with someone that you love versus hate? I have, and when I still fall back into such negative emotions I can’t stand myself anymore and instantly choose one of my tools to help me feel better. And, yes, it is your option to choose to change the feeling, and there are practical tools for that. But if that doesn’t work you can choose option 2.

Option 2:

You can stay in your situation and try to change the rules and the conditions. It is entirely possible that you become the visionary within your family, work or school. I write you from experience that my job started to change immensely when I decided to change me and with that all my circumstances. I didn’t want to leave. This job was worth all my efforts to change and set the rules, my rules. When I finally realized that I was blaming everyone but myself for my lack of passion I started to take responsibility. After all, the same job I was so happy to be hired for years before, now I was seriously “out of love with” even considering a brake up. But really, whose fault was that? Who was there to blame? No one! We just both changed and evolved in the “relationship”. So then my choice was to just start “dating” with my job again and see where this new relationship lead us. It is not that you fall out of love but the quality of the relationship changes. You must have the tools to at least look at how you can save the relationship. If then things still don’t work out and the new rules that you two have set did not bring back the “love” then yes you can move onto option 3. But just know that, with the right tools, it is possible for you to actually look forward to going to a job that you felt lost in for the longest time.

Option 3:

You can move into a new position in your life where you set all the rules and the conditions. That is most certainly an option and many of us will choose that, rightly so. Let me provide you with just a word of caution! Before you run out of places, options, relationships or jobs take a good look at whether you have done all that you could to know and change yourself. Did you do all to understand and set your own rules not to accommodate the situation but to discover who you really are? Is it really you who hates that job or is it the person you were raised to be? If you at a point loved your spouse or looked forward to driving to work is it really only the other that has changed? If you have exhausted all your options to accept or change and you are still unhappy then, I agree, you must move on!

Either one you choose you have to start with YOURSELF. You need to change you for the rules and conditions around you to also change.

Are you ready for that? I am!

So now on, for example, if someone tells you that you are not well known enough for a position or you are not enough of an “expert” in your area to write your book or start speaking, then you can ask them “by whose rules are you measuring this”? Yours, societies’ or some secret tribe’s? Not your rule that is for sure… ! If you have an innate desire to do something or to be someone I assure you that you were also given the “means” to achieve your desired goals. But it all starts by knowing who you really are and how you can become your best accelerating your growth from Contender to Champion in all aspects of life!

Discover who you really are and what are YOUR rules. Then see how the world around you can be accommodated so you both can be happy. So please listen to the signs while they are just a gentle breeze whispering into your ears.