Thought Catalog
June 15, 2017

What You Need To Remember When You’re Doubting Your Relationship

Report This Article
What is the issue?
Anita Peeples

We all have moments when we doubt our relationships. And we mostly tend to do it, when it doesn’t fit into our perception of a full-blown book-like romance where the only perfect thing is love and love only. Yeah, you thought of Twilight, right?

You need the smallest seed of doubt and then – BOOM – you jump to the conclusion that shatters your whole world:

“He doesn’t love me”

You start reading zillions of articles on successful relationships and the signs indicating that a man loves his girl.

You talk to your girlfriends analyzing every word he said, how he said it, the way he looks at you, the way he touches you – you utterly overthink the tiniest details. If you had a few brick walls, you’d probably want to smash your wits in every one of them in order to figure out when it “all” went wrong.

You go through plenty of versions of the verb “doubt” – sometimes you doubt him, sometimes – your own judgement. And despite all the mind-mazes you lose yourself into and all the advice you get, you are still not sure whether you’ve got the right answer.
We’ve all been there.

But be sure of one thing – you’re subjective. It is quite hard to think clearly, when feelings are involved. Your friends are subjective, too.

Because they love you. That doesn’t mean you should trust or listen to their opinion, it only means there’s quite a possibility for them to think that no one will ever be good enough for you. Just like your grandma does.

So, in this case, what do we do?

Here’s what – take a deep breath and don’t panic.

Just know that regardless of all fights, of all differences, love must always be built on mutual respect.

And it is true that we don’t give, so we can receive. That’s not the purpose of giving.
Remember that one can never make for two.

You should both respect each other.

You should both care.

You should both be faithful.

Nothing less than that.

But it is also true that:

You will have your fights.

You will need time to adapt to each other’s lifestyle and habits and make the best of it.

You will surely need to make some compromise, because no one is perfect and because we all have different personalities.

Set your own limits of what you can accept and what you can’t. Don’t excuse the actions of your other half for the sake of love. But don’t over-analyze, don’t waste your time torturing yourself for small insignificant things. Take pleasure in living your moments to the fullest.

Because the imperfections, the fights and our desire to be with the one we love and overcome all obstacles is what makes love so raw and genuine and beautiful. TC mark

Read This