I’m waiting for an entire 24 hours to go by without you ever crossing my mind. I’m waiting for the moment it doesn’t sting to come across a photo of you. I’m waiting for the day to come when the sound of a train won’t bring me back to the countless nights we spent waiting for one to pass.
I find myself holding onto these memories and the best moments we shared because as much as it hurts, it also feels good for just an instant. It feels good to remember how you made me feel when I woke up every morning and rolled over to find a message from you on my phone. It feels good to remember how much I looked forward to doing either absolutely nothing with you, or doing something unbelievably spectacular.
It feels good to close my eyes and transport myself back to the white sand beach where I realized I was falling for you. For just an instant, it feels good to go back there in my mind.
And then that short moment suddenly ends and reality sets in again. I’m instantly reminded of the way things really are now and that begins to hurt even more than it did yesterday. But that good feeling, if just for an instant, was worth the opposite emotions that followed.
But at what point will everything quit reminding me of you? As I continue to patiently wait for that day to come, I find myself wondering if I’m the only one trapped in this place. Are you constantly reminded of the best moments we shared or does it sting too much to even let your mind go there? I find it hard to believe you have found a way to push those thoughts away and focus strictly on new memories you’re making without me.
I don’t want to be the only one waiting. Can we just wait together, for now?