There were many red flags throughout the course of my failed relationship that should have made me realize it was time to leave. I was in denial about a lot of things, and now that I look back at all the bad times, it’s hard for me to think that I was capable of being so naïve. I learned a lot from my mistakes and I share these quotes in hopes that they’ll clue others in to the glaring signs that a person is no good for them. Sometimes even skilled pretenders let things slip and, in doing so, allow you to see what’s really going on inside their heads. If they are also into drugs and alcohol, chances are you will get to see this side of them more often. These are the words of a selfish person who doesn’t see cheating as a bad thing and is skilled in the art of lying and manipulation.

It’s important to observe how your significant other acts around his or her friends; that in itself can speak volumes. For instance, if they don’t care if their friends cheat on their girlfriends, then it’s safe to assume they won’t care about cheating on their significant others either. Other blatant red flags to keep in mind: if they lie about simple things like where they are, where they are going, or are evasive about who they are with. As is a reluctance to use their phone in front of their significant other — even something so seemingly inconsequential as keeping their phone on vibrate while it’s face down on the table. Also, try and figure out their priorities; if they care more about having a good time and partying than making you happy, then it’s safe to assume you are not a priority. Finally, it’s important to be with someone who has strong, meaningful opinions, but not if they start to criticize you or your way of thinking.

Take these quotes and use them as a guide of sorts to help clue you in that your relationship my be heading for destruction. Know your worth and don’t let anyone use pathetic excuses to treat you badly.

1. “Sometimes you just need a warm hole.”

The advice he was giving his friend on why he should cheat on his girlfriend and get a blowjob from a chick who was interested in him.

2. “That’s why I don’t want to get married. I can’t imagine looking at only one vagina for the rest of my life.”

3. “I can’t fathom the idea that you actually believe there is a God and that he has a plan for us all.”

This is what he told me when he was trying to convince me I was brainwashed for having faith.

4. “I did a bunch of stupid things and lost your trust and yes sometimes didn’t invite you out and chatted with chicks behind your back but only because you didn’t understand why I should have new friends who are girls.”

His response when I asked him why he asked me to stay home and not come over while he had new “friends” over to drink at his place.

5. “I was just looking for conversation.”

His excuse for texting some girl at 5am that she’s sexy and that they should have a drink sometime.

6. “Sometimes I’m not happy when you don’t bring enough girls out when we have parties at my place.”

7. “Oh Calm down woman and stop ruining the fun!”

What he yelled at me when I asked why our friend was going into the bathroom to check out some girl’s boobs when he has a girlfriend.

8. “Chill baby, I wanted to show the guys the shitty strip club, and besides, she’s only a bartender.”

His response when I found a receipt to a strip club where his old friend works as a topless waitress.

9. “Baby that doesn’t count. That was after we fixed things.”

His pathetic excuse as to why his cheating didn’t count because, y’know, that was “before we broke up and got back together.”

10. “Again I’m sorry more for myself that I only recently realized how important our relationship is to me.”

His apology for being the shittiest boyfriend ever and only realizing my value near the end of our almost two-year relationship.