Why I Sit Quietly As You Bash Lady Gaga
Because you should really be applying all of your judgments and insults to yourself.
If there’s one thing I hate more than listening to people complain, it’s listening to them complain about Lady Gaga. You call her overrated, weird, ugly, fugly, talentless, over-the-top, fake, lame, loser, gross, theatrical, stupid, and the list goes on and on. When asked WHY you think that way, you usually say something unintelligent like “Why does she need to dress like that? Like, what’s she trying to prove? She’s just being weird to be weird. It’s so dumb!” Or maybe you say something like “Her songs are so stupid. Judas? Really? What is she talking about? Why is she getting all Jesusy now?” Well, moron, the answer is really quite simple – she’s having fun and being eccentric and you don’t like it because you’re plain, vanilla, boring, lame, talentless, stupid, the list goes on an on.
Somehow after all our hippie parents stopped smoking pot and wearing tie-die t-shirts we were all brainwashed into the most boring generation I’ve ever seen. We spend our teens all wearing the same fucking logos and polos and flip flops and stupid sunglasses with rhinestones on them. We graduate from American Eagle and Abercrombie for slacks and dress shirts and the majority of us sit in plain colored outfits in our cubicles (No, that cute top you got from NY & Company isn’t that big of a deal, but compared to all the other lame vanilla outfits in the room it pops like a drag queen at a bus stop). If you’re not part of the majority who’s been washed out you’re in some other job you hate and have been completely changed into a different person than you were as a child (to all who don’t feel like their life is a settlement, please disregard). Remember being a child? Remember IMAGINATION? Remember having fun doing ANYTHING and when WEIRD was COOL? You would have fucking loved Lady Gaga when you were a kid, but not now. Now you feel uncomfortable with anything you don’t see in the window at the mall. You throw fame at reality TV stars like The Real Housewives and Jersey Shore who just teach you to be selfish, self-centered, snobby, judgmental bitches. Someone like Lady Gaga comes along and you fight to put her down like she’s standing behind you with a knife and is going to kill you if you don’t.
WAKE UP GAGA HATER. She’s standing up for weird. She’s doing whatever the fuck she wants whenever the fuck she wants however the fuck she wants. JEALOUS? You should be! I sure as hell am! Aside from the fact that she’s using her fame to promote acceptance and love to her fan bases (especially young kids) and is actually eloquently spoken and talented if you watch any of her interviews, (which you most likely didn’t, and if you did you said something like “she’s so dumb. She makes no sense! Look at her hair!” the whole time). Maybe you’re the one who needs to get in touch with your inner weird. All the things you think are cool that you’re too ashamed to tell someone else. All the songs on your iPod you’d never play at a party. The websites you visit. The books you read. The movies you watch at home on a Tuesday night. All the thoughts and feelings and interests you hide from your peers, because you’ve been trained to hate anything that’s different. Bring it back to life. Take back your life. I know I sure as hell will.
Bring out your inner Gaga and stop being such a hater.
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Describe for us the threesome with your OKCupid hookup.
If this doesn’t become the biggest video on the Internet, then I have no faith left in humanity.
I’m about to finish up my sophomore fall of college, and friends from home are getting married and having babies and sufficiently freaking me out.
He was a perfect date. I later got drunk and hacked his phone (who uses their birth year for a password? It was 1986, by the way #teamcougar). What I found was a text to a Kristina explaining his aforementioned sex dream he’d had about her while sleeping next to me in a luxurious hotel bed.