You have to learn to live with the fact that you are in the demographic for Tyler Perry movies.
If it’s not the “most insane night of your life,” then it’s a massive failure that can only be corrected if you are unlucky enough to have to get married more than once.
“My mom has some wardrobe suggestions for you.”
Think about all the money you’ll save!
Don’t spend a bunch of time taking pictures. New York isn’t going anywhere, plus you’re not going to reinvent the selfie in the next few days, so take one or two, and move on.
Physical touch is important, even if it’s non-sexual. The closer you literally are to your spouse, the closer you’ll feel.
How does one function when the responsible adult in the relationship takes off for a week? I’m so glad you asked!
The bills you haven’t paid can wait. You’re busy making your bed.
Did I mention that this BBQ is going to have exclusively messy foods? Hamburgers, seven-layer dip, potato salad, tacos, hot dogs, pie, ice cream, those little tiny cocktail wieners on the toothpicks. You’re screwed.
In a perfect world, either writers would all stop writing clickbait, or readers would all stop reading it. This perfect world is a delightful fantasy, because the system is too complicated for our puny human brains to comprehend.