Dapo Fagbenle

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A feeling of nostalgia swept over me as I assumed I was about to be thrust into yesteryear where XXXXXL tees were in fashion, a time when determining your MySpace Top 8 was an enormous task, and confidants in St. Louis told Nelly it was okay to wear band-aids on his face.

Aladdin didn’t believe in smart purchases or investing in things that would appreciate over time. He came from nothing, and was not used to having money. All the cash came at once and he did what many a rapper does — spend, spend, spend.

My only choices were you, or the Clippers. You were the easy choice, though, as my big brother’s favorite player was Magic “I laid the pipe down one too many times” Johnson.

While the man is occasionally the smaller spoon, it is common knowledge that any man who acts as the little spoon any more than five percent of the time has little to no say in the relationship.

I stumbled upon it by mistake, but once I arrived, what I witnessed gripped me immediately. My mind darted to and fro as if I had landed on Pandora for the first time and my Avatar body went into sensory overload.

King David had a throng of consorts as he completed the Lord’s work, and you’re foolish if you believe Mufasa was playing the monogamous role whilst Simba was gallivanting in the elephant graveyard. I can assure you his lioness stable was second to none.

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