Thank Your Ex
Thank you for arguing with me. You taught me the correct way to disagree, as well as the incorrect way. You pushed me to my breaking point, so now I know to never go there again.
Thank you for second-guessing every romantic gesture I made. You believing them to be nothing more than measly attempts at covering up dark secrets, only solidified their necessity. You taught me that I am more than capable of being romantic. To an almost pathetic, The Notebook, “you had me at hello” degree.
Thank you for sharing with me. Blasted music from busted speakers. Feuding teams with unwavering fans. Faithful friends and a perfect family. You taught me that I can share the intricate facets of my life, with someone else. And that when those shared moments last longer than our relationship, it is okay to sit in them and remember you.
Thank you for boring evenings on the couch. While I complained to no end about multiple nights in — with nothing more than a six pack, a remote control, and reruns of The Office — I realized my affection for the simplistic. You taught me that I am more than capable of putting down the Jack Daniels bottle, and picking up a cook book.
Thank you for the loss of affection. You taught me that missing compliments, absent touches, and separate sides of the bed do, in fact, affect me. I have learned that I need physical reassurance and verbal affirmation from time to time. I have also learned that such a need, is okay.
Thank you for loving me. There were moments when, without a doubt, you made me the happiest I have ever been. There were times when a stolen glance. An inside joke. A tender kiss. And a shared song, with you, sent me into a world of butterfly kisses. You taught me that I am capable of being unapologetically happy, and that I can be that happy again.
Thank you for facing a tough decision with me. You taught me that I can survive the worst imaginable situation. That I can survive it with you. And, eventually, that I can survive it without you. I have learned that I cannot change the decisions I have made, but I can learn to live with them.
Thank you for leaving me. I may have been a drunken mess. An easy-target for any one-night-stand-seeking gentleman. An embodiment of bad decisions and piss-poor life choices. But I was me. Every dark. Twisted. Ugly facet of me. And in breaking me down, you taught me how to build myself back up.
Thank you for reconnecting. The ability to see palpable changes. Realistic transformations. And lingering habits, solidified the necessity of certain actions. You taught me that it is okay to turn around, and look back at what was. Just not for too long.
Thank you for ignored phone calls. You exiting stage-right from my life, was the most humane action of our entire relationship. I hated you for it, but you were the stronger of us. You saved me from myself. And you taught me that I could live in a world where you no longer existed, and flourish.
Thank you for impacting me.
Thank you for changing me.
And, finally, thank you for helping create a me who is loved. By someone else.
A | A | A
Don’t get me wrong, if you can get into an Ivy League, good for you, but I also think that there are a lot of other colleges that deserve as much praise and respect as Harvard and Yale.
I started to do lines of Adderall because I thought heroin/drug chic was glamorous. I did it while looking at myself on my iPhone camera, obviously, because how else would I know it was happening if my reflection on a screen wasn’t looking back at me?
2. GRUMPY. Or more appropriately, Humpy.
You break out the shorts when it hits 40 degrees in April.