Thought Catalog
October 26, 2015

‘Your Baby Is Fat’: 16 New Moms Share Their Most Horrifying Parent Shaming Stories

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1. “The main one that’s happened to me is the disgusted looks I get when I’m breastfeeding in public. I even cover up with a blanket and still men and women will look at me like I’m pole dancing in the middle of Starbucks.”

—Jane, 25


2. “My mother was the worst about this. When I did anything that she didn’t do during her pregnancy she absolutely told me that I was messing up and that my child would be permanently disabled for life if I didn’t change my ways and do exactly as she said.”

—Marcia, 28


3. “Standing in a long line at the grocery store, I had just had my daughter two months previous and was still carrying the baby weight. Had the little tyke in the stroller with me. A young girl starts talking to me about how hard it must be to have a kid and how she’d never want to give up her independence this way and how she’s never had to work out to be thin and what a challenge it all must be. She’s totally oblivious to how she sounds. I put up with it and just sort of shook my head but when she said ‘I never want to be a mom’ I just replied ‘And I hope to God you never are’ and turned my back on her. People can be so thoughtless.”

—Tiffany, 30


4. “Apparently the fact that babies cry when they want something is a concept too difficult for many people to grasp. Yes, I take my son out on errands with me. Yes he is a baby. No, he doesn’t cry all the time but he does cry sometimes because he is a baby and isn’t potty trained and can’t say ‘mommy I have to pee’ because he is a baby. He is a helpless lump and I have to do everything for him. Sometimes he will cry. There’s no need to look at me like I abuse him simply because you have to put up with a few minutes of an annoying sound. Grow up, you were a baby once too and your crying was annoying at the time just like your self righteous ‘if I was that kid’s mom’ looks are annoying now.”

—Claudia, 27


5. “It’s the people who go out of their way to talk about how pregnancy and having a baby is no big deal that annoy me. I don’t even care if they do think it’s no big deal, what kills me is they feel the need to tell me this. I had an experience with a professor of mine asking me why I took a semester off from college and when I said that I got pregnant she acted like I should totally have just stayed in school and, what, studied for exams during labor? Worst part is that she’s a woman and should 100% know better.”

—Jane, 23


6. “Social media is a nightmare for new mothers unless you keep your circle really small. When I had my first child I had Facebook contacts popping out of the woodwork to suggest how I could lose the baby weight and how I was using all the wrong products and my husband’s aunt even went so far as to suggest that I was disinterested in my child and ‘really should do more research.’ It’s unbelievable how entitled people you’ve barely spoken to in ten years become once they don’t have to say anything to your face.”

—Angelique, 25


7. “I quit working about five months into my pregnancy and my husband and I decided that I wouldn’t work for the next two years so that I could focus on raising our son. This was a decision that he and I made together and we’re confident that it’s right for us. Men seem to be fine with this but it’s the women in my life that have decided I’m flunking feminism because I’m not rabidly concerned about my career the way they think I should be. I had a former friend actually tell me that I was setting back women’s rights by staying at home with my son.”

—Jill, 27


8. “You can’t win. I was lucky that I was able to get in shape again quickly after I had my daughter and my weight basically snapped back to where it was before I was pregnant. Let me tell you, other mothers hate this and the looks I get because of what amounts to genetic luck are unbelievably bitchy. I had one coworker go so far as to suggest that I was neglecting my girl in order to focus on getting back into shape. That anyone would suggest I was neglecting my daughter is laughable but to say it out of envy, well, that’s disgusting.”

—Heather, 24


9. “There’s a phenomenon where some, not all, women end up with boobs that are basically deflated after breastfeeding. I had this condition and it really really messed with my body image. So, I made the decision to get a boob lift since my husband and I aren’t planning on having any more children. I made the mistake of telling one friend about it and let me tell you, among other moms that’s cheating. As if I’m just going to suffer through because others think I should.”

—Jodi, 30


10. “My friend recently went away with two other moms for the weekend. All of them had babies, but my friend was the only one who worked instead of staying home and she felt judged constantly for not paying enough attention to every move her child made. When she revealed that (gasp!) her baby monitor didn’t have a video screen (it was just audio) they FREAKED out on her.”

—Pam, 23


11. “My insane mother-in-law thinks my baby is malnourished just because she sleeps a certain way. She’s absolutely convinced she’s right despite my pediatrician saying my baby is extremely healthy. She makes sure to mention it whenever I see her as well.”

—Karen, 25


12. “Actual quote from a recent dinner party where the question of ‘cloth diapers vs disposables’ was brought up: ‘It’s really irresponsible for women to use disposable diapers’. This was said to me face even though I only use disposables when traveling for obvious reasons. Granted, the guy was a little drunk but he later cited diapers in landfills as the reason he’s never having children so I’m going to have to assume he’s just generally not very smart.”

—Megan, 25


13. “Not really a new mom problem so much as a general mom problem, my husband and I are healthy eaters. As a result, our toddler is also a healthy eater. I’ve run into tons of mothers who are annoyed that I don’t feed him tons of pre-packaged garbage and even when I’m like ‘live and let live’ a lot of them won’t let it go. It’s like they’ve decided I have to be a bad person in order to justify their own habits and choices.”

—Liz, 28


14. “I had a co-worker tell me he thought having children was irresponsible because of overpopulation. Thanks, jackass, but overpopulation isn’t a huge problem in North Carolina.”

—Katie, 24


15. “A college student once referred to my six month old as ‘fat’. I have no idea what kids are learning in school these days but all babies are fat. It’s an evolutionary adaption so they don’t die. I just told her ‘thanks’ and she seemed completely confused by that.”

—Kim, 31


16. “My favorite is when my son cries in public, which is rare. Some people look at me like I’m supposed to punish him for it. LOL, okay dudes, I’ll get right on that.”

—Jamie, 24 TC mark

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